When I need something to help me unwind
I find a six-foot baby with a one-track mind
Smart guys are nowhere, they make demands
Give me a moron with talented hands
I go bar-hopping and they say "last call"
I start shopping for a Neanderthal
The bigger they come
The harder I fall
In love till we're done
Then they're out in the hall
I like 'em big and stupid
I like 'em big and real dumb
I like 'em big and stupid
What kind of guy does a lot for me
Superman with a lobotomy
My father's out of Harvard
My brother's out of Yale
Well, the guy I took home last night
Just got out of jail
The way he grabbed and threw me
Oooh, it really got me hot
But the way he growled and bit me
I hope he'd had his shots
The bigger they are
The harder they'll work
I got a soft spot
For a good-looking jerk
I like 'em big and stupid
I like 'em big and real dumb
I like 'em big and stupid
I met a guy who drives a truck
He can't tell time but he sure can drive
I asked his name and he had to think
Could I have found the missing link
He's so stupid — you know what he said
Well, I forgot what he said
'Cause it was so stupid
The bigger they come
The harder I fall
In love till we're done
Then they're out in the hall
I like 'em big and stupid
I like 'em big and real dumb
I like 'em big and stupid