Round 1
For those who don't know I should explain - Nick and I know eachother from the murky world of battle forums and text battles
But don't worry, this ain't gonna be all dead raps, like "he said that - in his net chat"
You might get that from the next chap, but I'm here to dead man, neck snapped, sent back to his Shef pad with his head battered a dead twat
And by the way...negged, lad
Yeah we're both on forums, and yeah that makes us both neeks
But even on forums you're a laughing stock. So peak
This is like Jay and Kanye in Paris, mate
They'll say the same thing when we both rap today
'cos after my verse, they say "That sh** cray"
After your verse, they say "That's sh**, Kray"
You're the kinda guy to drink a gla** of red wine before bed time, thinking that you're highbrow
When you rap, nobody listens to your best rhymes, they just spend time staring at your eyebrows
'Cos your monobrow is so bad...when you stare inside the mirror's surface I bet it hurts your mind
Your monobrow is so bad...you could trace a perfect line across your hairy eyes
Your monobrow is so bad...it makes your nose look like a cirumcised person might
Your monobrow is so bad...it's f**ing worse than mine
Look...for Kray, this clearly isn't really the thing that he's on
He's a busker - catch him in singing a song in Liverpool One
Playing the piano, and singing along
And I wanted to listen to your music with Spiral Vine
But it just hurt my f**ing ears every time I tried
That sh** should be cla**ified as a violent crime
And carry a sentence of 25 to life
And just to throw this in here 'cos I'm on first and I'm f**ing cynical
And anyone else who does a line like this after me will look unoriginal
We're in Django's today, watch this man go deranged
Start with you, now I'm a k**er off the leash - Django Unchained
Round 2
Kray's the kinda guy who talks tough to people online like wants to impress 'em
Like it's really important that he's got their respect and there's one way to get it
As if there's anything about you that could possibly be threatening
So you're a gangster Kray? What is it, Ronnie or Reggie?
You talk like you're a king in the meth business
Running with slingers and ex-slingers, building some next figures
In reality you're just a weird kid from some dead village in the middle of the Wirral
You probably sit in and collect figures
And when you're not trying to convince us you're proper hench
Krayfishing for compliments
So now watch this embarra**ment Nicky bring bars
Like he's big and he's hard: Nicky, you aren't
People only keep you round Nicky for laughs
So go ahead make a big f**ing arse of yourself like Nicki Minaj
Look, I've checked your pen - you've got some nice lyrics
But what's the point of nice writtens with no punchlines in it?
Nothing to leave people's ire risen, mind filling or sides splitting?
You're not nice with it. You couldn't land one punch if you tried spitting to five minute time limits
How are you a rapper though Kray?
You've never even rapped til today
You're more "text battles all day"
You only rap on the page like the Mac of all Trades
So from someone who knows him - lemme tell you some facts about Nick
He doesn't know the difference between a rock of crack, and a spliff
Goes to Sheffield Uni, don't know how he manages it with his arrogance
Thinks he's the most intelligent in this whole planet we live
Genuinely believes that his band'll get big
Can solve all the world's problems singlehandedly if just a chance he was given
That's not even to mention the embarra**ing tiff you were having with Briggz
With the Ian Watkins case, he didn't give a damn or a sh** about the actual kids it was happening with
He said he's glad it exists 'cos his band are so sh**, and now he'll never have to hear another album from him
What the f** kind've man're you Nick?
If you're thinking why are you yelling all this irrelevant sh**
I need you to understand how this absolute prick actually thinks
Round 3
But why would anyone think you're the best bro?
You're bars are sh**, with a dead flow
I'm way above this kid from the get-go
Why am I having to reach down to hit a krayshendo?
This kid ain't some gat burstin' man murdrin' bad person
He's just a sad virgin rap nerd with aspergers
Now I'm not here to mock the mentally ill, just to get a cheap win
But if you didn't want me mentioning it...
Why would you tell me that sh**, and then get in the ring?
So Kray - how does it feel to have no empathy with all your friends and your kin?
How does it feel when you're getting it in with some fresh little chick
She looks up at you and sees your dead f**ing grin, runs away quicker than a jet in the wind?
How does it feel knowing every argument you've ever been in people were letting you win
So they wouldn't have to listen to a ten minute whinge?
Yeah, but I'm all about that retro gaming
Nintendo, Sega, Tecmo, Gaiden
So when I say I'm "on the spectrum", I mean it's the ZX I'm playing
When he says he's "on the spectrum"...he's talking 'bout his mental status
I wanted to battle someone I rate and like, who's great at rhyme
How'd I end up with the bait whack white Zain Azrai?
Look, I took this battle just to school this nerd
And to k** him third round with a brutal verse
Rain Man here took it to watch the coin spinning through the air
So he would finally get to find out who's on first
So call me George when I'm downing Lenny
One quick round to the head and he's out forever
So many punches, when they rain...MAN! Even you couldn't count how many
A whole round of aspergers jokes, you've gotta know that's proper low
But I like you Nicky, so sorry bro
And Bard said the battle scene NEEDS JtC, that was f**ing absurd
I'm not the hero the scene needs, I'm the one it deserves