[JOANNE]
Mark?
[MARK]
Hi
[JOANNE]
I told her not to call you
[MARK]
That's Maureen
But can I help since I'm here?
[JOANNE]
I've hired an engineer
[MARK]
Great! Well, nice to have—
[JOANNE]
Wait! She's three hours late
The samples won't delay, but the cable—
[MARK]
There's another way
Say something, anything
[JOANNE]
Test, one, two three—
[MARK]
Anything but that
[JOANNE]
This is weird
[MARK]
It's weird
[JOANNE]
Very weird
[MARK]
f**in' weird
[JOANNE]
I'm so mad that I don't know what to do
Fighting with microphones
Freezing down to my bones
And to top it all off, I'm with you
[MARK]
Feel like going insane?
Got a fire in your brain?
And you're thinking of drinking gasoline?
[JOANNE]
As a matter of fact—
[MARK]
Honey, I know this act
It's called the "Tango: Maureen"
The Tango Maureen
It's a dark, dizzy merry-go-round
As she keeps you dangling
[JOANNE]
You're wrong!
[MARK]
Your heart she is mangling
[JOANNE]
It's different with me!
[MARK]
And you toss and you turn
Cause her cold eyes can burn
Yet you yearn and you churn and rebound
[JOANNE]
I think I know what you mean
[BOTH]
The Tango Maureen
[MARK]
Has she ever pouted her lips and called you "Pookie"?
[JOANNE]
Never!
[MARK]
Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?
[JOANNE]
This is...spooky
Did you swoon when she walked through the door?
[MARK]
Every time, so be cautious
[JOANNE]
Did she moon over other boys?
[MARK]
More than moon
[JOANNE]
I'm getting nauseous
[MARK]
It's hard to do this backwards
[JOANNE]
You should try it in heels!
She cheated
[MARK]
She cheated
[JOANNE]
Maureen cheated
[MARK]
f**in' cheated
[JOANNE]
I'm defeated, I should give up right now
[MARK]
Gotta look on the bright side
With all of your might
[JOANNE]
I'd fall for her still, anyhow
[BOTH]
When you're dancing her dance
You don't stand a chance
Her grip of romance makes you fall
[MARK]
So you think, "Might as well
[JOANNE]
Dance a tango to hell!
[BOTH]
At least I'll have tangoed at all
The Tango Maureen
Gotta dance till your diva is through
You pretend to believe her
Cause in the end, you can't leave her
But the end it will come
Still you have to play dumb
Till you're glum and you bum
And turn blue
[MARK]
Why do we love when she's mean?
[JOANNE]
And she can be so obscene
[MARK]
Try the mike
[JOANNE]
My Maureen, een, een, een..
[MARK]
Patched!
[JOANNE]
Thanks
[MARK]
You know, I feel great now!
[JOANNE]
I feel lousy
[BOTH]
The Tango Maureen!