SISTER CHANTELLE (as the Virgin Mary)
Stop!
PETER
f** me, Matt! It's Diana Ross
SISTER CHANTELLE
Uh, sure enough, ain't. But now I know I've got the right person
PETER
What's that supposed to mean?
SISTER CHANTELLE
Listen up, Peter. I may be a virgin but I ain't new to the game. Don't be frontin' with Mary
PETER
Holy sh**
SISTER CHANTELLE
I'll pretend I didn't hear that
KYRA & TANYA (as angels/backup singers)
Think it over
PETER
Hail Mary, full of grace
SISTER CHANTELLE
Stop, stop, stop! Do you know how tired I am of that prayer?
What do you know about 2,000 years, and they still be saying the same prayer
KYRA & TANYA
Change is comin' - it's comin'
SISTER CHANTELLE
I have a message for you, Peter
KYRA & TANYA
Listen closely
SISTER CHANTELLE
Now where'd I put it? All these pockets...Oh yeah, here it is
KYRA & TANYA
Seek and ye shall find
SISTER CHANTELLE
"You will know the truth and the truth shall..." Who writes this stuff?
KYRA & TANYA
Too generic
SISTER CHANTELLE
Never mind, I'm gonna wing it
TANYA
Mary loves her puns
SISTER CHANDELLE
Yes I do
Now, I saw what you just did
KYRA & TANYA
Mary saw you
SISTER CHANTELLE
Seems the love that dare not speak its name done gone ahead and spoke
KYRA & TANYA
Now the secret's out
SISTER CHANTELLE
You tell one person - that's it - cat's out of the bag
KYRA & TANYA
Will he keep it?
SISTER CHANTELLE
There's a phone call that is now overdue to your mother, baby
KYRA & TANYA
Time to call her up
Operator
SISTER CHANTELLE
Get on mama's line
KYRA & TANYA
Operator
SISTER CHANTELLE
Heaven knows it's time
KYRA & TANYA
Operator
SISTER CHANTELLE
Can you put him through?
ALL THREE
Someone's got a job to do
KYRA & TANYA
Operator
SISTER CHANTELLE
Mama loves you, boy
KYRA & TANYA
Operator
SISTER CHANTELLE
You're your mama's joy
KYRA & TANYA
Operator
SISTER CHANTELLE
Get the doing done
ALL THREE
Reach out, baby - touch someone
911! Emergency! It's time to be a grown up
We done gone and made the call
But you need to pick the phone up
Ring your mother, tell it all
Just go ahead and own up
Stop your lying, drop the drama
Tell the world but first tell mama
Let her know
SISTER CHANTELLE
I've read the books, Peter
KYRA & TANYA
Oprah picked 'em
SISTER CHANTELLE
Sayin' "Come out when you're ready," but don't talk about it - be about it
KYRA & TANYA
Come on, come on out, boy
SISTER CHANTELLE
Cause life is now, sugar
KYRA & TANYA
Gotta live your life
SISTER CHANTELLE
Don't hide there under a bushel...or whatever my baby used to say
KYRA & TANYA
Jesus knows what's up
Operator
SISTER CHANTELLE
Help the boy connect
KYRA & TANYA
Operator
SISTER CHANTELLE
Let him call collect
KYRA & TANYA
Operator
SISTER CHANTELLE
Could you put him through?
ALL THREE
Someone's got a job to do
KYRA & TANYA
Operator
SISTER CHANTELLE
Got to change the plan
KYRA & TANYA
Operator
SISTER CHANTELLE
Time to take a stand
KYRA & TANYA
Operator
SISTER CHANTELLE
Get the doing done
ALL THREE
Reach out, baby! Touch someone
911! Emergency! It's time to be a grown up
We done gone and made the call -
But you need to pick the phone up
Ring your mother, tell it all
Just go ahead and own up
Mop your mess up, drop the drama
Tell the world, but first tell mama
911! Emergency! Life is full of choices
Baby, here's the 411: with truth the world rejoices
Let it out, let mama in
Boy, you need to hear our voices
Stop the secrets, drop the drama
Roll it out but first tell mama
Let her know
SISTER CHANTELLE
That's it. God bless
PETER
But what if God --
SISTER CHANTELLE
Uh-uh! No questions. This isn't "Conversations with Mary"
KYRA & TANYA
It ain't that book, baby
SISTER CHANTELLE
Look, you'll figure it out. And I'm on the tightest of schedules...
Work, work, work, save, save, save, so many in need. But does the head of the first family lift a wing to help? NO! Joseph be telling me, "I let you ride the donkey all the way to Bethlehem" Now that was 2,000 years ago, ok? I'm talkin' about what has he done for me lately?
KYRA & TANYA
(unintelligable ranting)
TANYA
...And it won't be the greatest story every told if you go on and tell it a thousand times,-- oh, hi
SISTER CHANTELLE
Keep it up! Just keep it up, and I know two ladies 'bout to be touched by an angel. You got that? We out! Peter, remember
ALL THREE
911! Emergency! It's time to be a grown up
We done gone and made the call -
But you need to pick the phone up
Ring your mother, tell it all
Just go ahead and own up
Stop your lying, drop the drama
Tell the world but first tell mama
Let her know