i haven't left my room for four days i am staring at a screen and then a wall repeatedly i am not experiencing anything life changing i am not experiencing anything i feel like tweeting about my emotions have become the binary choices surrounding a given decision like do i want to walk downstairs and eat dutch chocolate ice cream like do i want to move away and live a fulfilling life working a meaningful job for forty years supporting a two cat household married to an upwardly mobile woman who makes smart financial decisions and still has time to read to the kids every night
i tried asking a cup of tea for life changing advice it stared at me and turned away ‘i am drinking the tea' i thought the tea contained valerian there should be a better planet to live on i'm just saying