When i woke up this morning, things were lookin' bad Seem like total silence was the only friend i had Bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down... and won And it was twelve o'clock before i realized That i was havin' .. no fun Chorus: But fortunately i have the key to escape reality And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while Won't you please tell the man i didn't k** anyone No i'm just tryin' to have me some fun Last time i checked my bankroll, It was gettin' thin Sometimes it seems like the bottom Is the only place i've been I chased a rainbow down a one-way street... dead end
And all my friends turned out to be insurance salesmen Repeat chorus: Well, i sat down in my closet with all my overalls Tryin' to get away From all the ears inside my walls I dreamed the police heard Everything i thought... what then? Well i went to court And the judge's name was hoffman Ah but fortunately i have the key to escape reality And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while Won't you please tell the man i didn't k** anyone No i'm just tryin' to have me some fun Well done, hot dog bun, my sister's a nun