[Verse 1]
My teeth have never looked quite this yellow
And my body never quite this fat
I'll pay well over the odds
Just to have some teenage abandoned back
I hit the ice of the 5th of Jan
And I swear it was an act of fate
[Refrain]
But I don't get angry when I'm feeling down
I just take my bubbles to the centre of town
[Chorus 1]
And Schumacher the champagne
Whoever needed good cause to celebrate
Schumacher the champagne
You might as well be proud of last place
[Verse 2]
We used to set ourselves on fire
When chemistry was twice a week
And now I pay for it over a counter
Whilst they become fitness freaks
My bad habits are taking over
All the good left inside
[Refrain]
But I don't get angry when I'm feeling down
I just take my bubbles to the centre of town
[Chorus 2]
And Schumacher the champagne
Whoever needed good cause to celebrate
Schumacher the champagne
You might as well be proud of last place
Schumacher the champagne
Whoever needed good cause to celebrate
[Outro]
Oh take me as I am
Oh take me as I am
Oh take me as I am or not at all
Or not at all
Or not at all
Or not at all
Or not at all
Or not at all