[Verse 1: Bodega Bamz]
Wonder what I was thinking
Wonder what I was feeling
Sitting in my mother's belly
Waiting, praying that I'm healthy
I use to hear them argue
They talking a different language
My father not from this country
My mother yeah that's my planet
That's my earth
In her womb I was planning
Can I make through 9 months
I could manage
Every time I was hungry
She felt a kick
Moved around a lil bit
When's my due date?
I'm tryna make my mark
I don't care what you name me
Just give me Heart
And I don't care how you school me
Just make me smart
It's real dark where I'm at
But I'm warm, curled up
I didn't like dinner last night
So you throw it up
And I feel I'm getting bigger
Mommy how you holding up?
When you cry, I can taste it
When you mad, I can take it
When you laugh, it was music to my ears
I just hope I make u proud
Hope I make it out
Mami
What if you think I'm ugly?
What if nobody's love me?
I'm tired of the waiting
I know you real inpatient
Then I see a light at the end of the tunnel
I hear screams of pain
The pressure is building
Could this be my due date?
Feel somebody pulling my leg
But I ain't ready to go
I wanna stay please
Where I'm at?
I'm confused
Who is you?
My thoughts before the first time I cried
And opened my eyes
The bio of an unborn child
[Verse 2: Nitty Scott]
Waddup mommy
Came home for ya home cookin'
I'm on the road, but I found space in-between bookings
On the patio just sippin' some rum
Talking about how far we've come
Like remember when you rolled up on my stepmoms?
& beat her a** 'cause she tried to overstep moms?
I was embarra**ed, and sick of the narrative
But i know you never ya got gla** slippers or carriages
Disadvantages, two failed marriages
I can't imagine how losing both of your parents is
But you went through it
Not around it or beneath it, you just trekked through it
And you kept moving
If it stormed, you just cleared the debris
Took a graveyard shift, when you had a degree
But something happened
See ya husband tried to have me, and the sad fact is
He made a victim out of me
A twisted little sickness, a statistic out of me
Grown now, I can't seem to get this out of me
I told you what he did & how he how tried to deceive
First thing you said was "nah I find that hard believe"
& that k**ed me to the core, mommy
k**ed me to the core
Made feel like I wasn't protected no more
Took me 10 years to let you know how angry I was
Lost in the metropolis, replacing your love
I was trapped in situations, got mistaken for love
It was all manifestations of foresakin your love
Walking around with a black nimbus above me
That's when I left to NY, I tried run free
Escaping my past 'cause it was ugly
& to this day, I f**in' struggle to love me
But you received it & told me you didn't mean it
Listen to my grievances, promised you never seen it
And I forgive you, mommy, do it for both of us
I know you feel the guilt & we been thru this sh** enough
Enough to build a bridge over troubled waters
My eyes is watering, you know I gotta be ya daughter
The one you used to call ya little negra
I listen to you even when you being extra
Me, you & abuela, the trifecta
Since we been healing, I'm seeing the whole spectrum
& I'm talking to God again too
He said sometimes you gotta guard for your guardian too
You did your the best with your lemons & now it's clear
'Cause I lived under your heart for almost a whole year
So I could never not be an extension of you
Tears streaming as I pen this, sending blessings to you
It's like I understood her & then I suddenly found me
The reason I ain't waiting for a n***a to crown me
Mommy
[Verse 3: Joell Ortiz]
A song to my favorite
Look ma we made it
It shoulda happened sooner and I hate it
You licked your thumb wiped the cold helped me bundle up
Yawning waiting for the morning bus
The queen of my castle
Flipping burgers at a White Castle
My Daddy used to drive right past you
I know how that must've made you feel
Still you raised me real
And I'm your baby still
We never was straight
Stress in your face
But you'd chef up a plate
And somehow make everything great
In the past I would talk about your drug problem
But you never made your problem my problem
I'm sorry I ended up hustling
Carjacking, gun busting, you was so disgusted
You was so disgusted
But my choices wasn't your fault
I don't even know why I stopped writing
I always knew this was the way out
I prolonged you on that block crying
People think I do this rapping for me
Actually I want you as happy as happy can be
Every single project, I think about them projects
That life's too simple, you need your own complex
Appreciation is an understatement
I hate the thought of lowering you under pavement
My momma, my best friend, my true love
I'm a stop by later and give u 2 hugs
I know you proud of me on TV
We laugh about how we couldn't see the TV
sh** is crazy though
I'm talking about my favorite lady on the radio