[Verse 1]
My first name is a random set of numbers and letters
And other alphanumerics that changes hourly forever
My last name, a thousand vowels fading down a sinkhole
To a susurrus, couldn't just be John Doe or Bingo
My address, a made-up language written out in living glyphs lifted from demonic literature and religious text
Telephone uncovered by purveyors of the ouija
Then checked against the CBGB women's room graffiti
My social a sudoku, my age is obscure
My in-case-of-emergency is in the daisies chasing birds
Employed by trillionaires with perfect teeth and pores
And people who open doors for the people who open doors
My medical history is a course at SUNY Buffalo
Charlatan psychiatry and troubleshooting undertow
Nervous in the service still, I'm burger meat and purple pills
"Here," "Thank you, we'll call your name," "Sure you will."
[Interlude]
Skipped lunch, I'm shrunk!
[Verse 2]
You pack up all your manias, you're sitting in the waiting room
You're dreaming of arcadia, you're feeling like a baby tooth
Awaiting panacea, channeling your inner Beowulf
In purgatory just before you pay up to filet yourself
And others, in the name of help, coal on a conveyor belt
Into ego d**h alone, no telephone from Gabriel
I'm half a human combin' over home and garden stoned
Gold chains over turtleneck, cigars over cologne
A thousand sh**ty paintings wrap around the wounded animal
Woo him with the Schubert, he's a future human cannonball
Little f**ers fighting, mother hiding in her Hulu
I'm climbing up the stucco, let's get to the seppuku
Uh-oh, that pretty penny turned the prickly into Benji
If you save up all your winnings
Then you get to count your blessings
I finally crunch the budget up and punch the bu*ton
She called my name out and pushed me into an oven
[Interlude]
The f**?! I'm shrunk!
[Verse 3]
She says, "I'm not your enemy."
I said, "That sounds like something that my enemy would say
Instead of playing off the chemistry."
She said, "You're being difficult."
I said, "I'm being guarded; you're a quarter mil in debt
I get more guidance from my barber
Look, I'm not good at this, I grew up in a noogie-fest
You built your walls up high
Or say goodbye to all your Cookie Puss
Here's one: every time my telephone buzzes
I see images of hooded riders setting fire to hundreds."
She said, "When you start getting all expressive and symbolic
It's impossible to actualize an honest diagnostic."
I said, "When you start getting all exact and algebraic
I'm reminded it's a racket, not a rehabilitation."
Okay, agree to disagree as grown-ups from opposing clans
Honoring the push and pull
I should have called the Scholomance
Oh well, preservation is a doozie
"Will you be needing another appointment?"
"Absolutely," I'm shrunk!