[Verse 1]
There's a tramp sitting on my doorstep
Trying to waste his time
With his mentholated sandwich
He's a walking clothesline
And here comes the bishop's daughter
On the other side
She looks a trifle jealous
She has been an outcast all her life
[Chorus]
Me, I'm waiting so patiently
Lying on the floor
I'm just trying to do my jig-saw puzzle
Before it rains anymore
[Verse 2]
Oh the gangster looks so frightening
With his luger in his hand
When he gets home to his children
He's a family man
But when it comes to the nitty-gritty
He can shove in his knife
Yes he really looks quite religious
He has been an outlaw all his life
Chorus [x2]
[Verse 3]
Oh the singer, he looks angry
At being thrown to the lions
And the ba** player, he looks nervous
About the girls outside
And the drummer, he's so shattered
Trying to keep up time
And the guitar players look damaged
They have been outcasts all their lives
[Chorus]
[Verse 4]
Oh, there's twenty-thousand grandmas
Wave their hankies in the air
All burning up their pensions
And shouting, It's not fair!
There's a regiment of soldiers
Standing looking on
And the queen is bravely shouting
What the hell is going on?
With a blood-curdling tally-ho
She charged into the ranks
And blessed all those grandmas who
With their dying breaths screamed, Thanks!
[Chorus]