I'm Dr. Jade Freedman
And for several years
Myself and my team of top research scientists
At The Himalayan Institute of Higher Learning
And Advanced Neurological Science
Have been conducting a study on
The effects of prolonged exposure to wackness
During these clinical trials
In the data gathered
We've determined that
Any exposure to wackness for substantial periods of time
Destroys cognitive ability
In other words
Perception, attention, memory, motor sk**s
Language sk**s, visual and spatial processing
We're all negatively effected
But there is hope
We here at The Himalayan Institute of Higher Learning
And Advanced Neurological Science
Have made it our life's mission
To eradicate this worldwide phenomenon known as wackness
So if you, or anyone you know
Has been exposed to wackness
And thought that you would have to live with this debilitating illness
You don't
Give us a call
At 774-300-WACK
Once again that number is 774-300-9225
Together we can attack the wack