Monogrammed toilet paper rollers that sing
Ever wonder who would buy these things?
The ones with plastic Santas in their years
And custom license plates no one understands
Strength thru shopping
What a thrill
Who Cares, they were on sale
Save more buying nothing at all
Bit it's the art of the deal
Fake gla**es so people think I'm smart
Fitness toys by mail, I think I used 'em once
Found a quicker way
To wow the boys and girls
Silicone implants for he-man lumpy arms
Strength thru shopping
Make my day
Obey the call of the consumer
Give me convenience
Or give me d**h
Before I choke myself
My car stereo's so loud and big
There's hardly anywhere for me to sit
Or make room for an inflatable doll or three
SO I can take the carpool lane
And pa** toll-free
Took a paid vacation on a train
My camcorder never left my face
Only put it down to recharge
AT home I'll play it back
And see just where we've gone
Strength through shopping everywhere
Am I possessed by me possessions?
Online I never leave my chair
No one screws me
'Cause I'm protected
I'm protected
I screw myself instead