I grew up watching Ed O'Neill,
But I only knew him as Al Bundy—
One of the most remarkably unremarkable protagonists
In the sordid history of Fox television sitcoms:
A husband, a father, a shoe salesman—
A guy with green in his teeth and sand in his wallet
Strangely, however, he never lost any of that;
He never lost Peg, Bud, Kelly, his shoe store occupation—or his legend:
He once scored four touchdowns in a single game for
The Polk High Panthers in the 1966 City Championship
In America, we root for the beer-drinking, nipple-loving losers—
The loudmouths who complain about their hunger pangs—
And we celebrate when they lose nothing—
Even if Reality would say otherwise
Al Bundy was like that