I look out at the sales floor at Prosper, Inc. for the first time
And like one of the Wonka kids, I think,
The Chocolate Room is beautiful....
It vibrates with activity:
Two rows of headstrong “consultants” stir with excitement and productivity
It's an office of nerds, geeks, dorks, jocks, athletes, body builders, wake boarders, crack heads, speed freaks, former gang members, off-the-wagon alcoholics, hicks, dicks, pricks, jerks, a**holes, jack-offs, douche bags, old-timers, motivation junkies, Wal-Mart cowboys, and Wall Street wannabes—
And some of them are two or three of these
(And Joe Bish was four of these—but we couldn't believe anything he told us)
And in the old days,
Way back in the 2000s,
Some of these guys were snorting coke at their workstations like those absurd American maniacs from The Wolf of Wall Street
It's a melting pot—
A cultural supreme pizza—
An exciting place to work
They sell coaching programs for stay-at-homers
That wanna “make it big” online
Some sit at desks;
Others stand in small cubicles
They dial and talk;
Dial and talk
The world spins on its axis—
And these ba*tards dial and talk—!—almost in vain—
The only thing they know to earn their cheddar
I'm new on the floor and they call me “Dolphin”—
“A gay shark,” they say;
They call me this ‘cause I'm a poetry f*g...not a salesman
But in the end...I swam upstream...to safer waters—away from the sharks....