[Verse 1]
I like Netflix, having s**, playing Tetris
But tonight I'm out looking for a spouse
So I can show mom that I'm stable now
I just ate a mouthful of Ambien
Pounding gin I'm with Dave and Tim at the club
Yeah it's crazy what - ladies love this 80s stuff
So hold up, hang on
I'm feeling like I'm James Bond or James Dean
James Joyce? James Brown its the same thing
I don't pay for drinks - well yeah I do
But they know me here - “Hey man it's you!”
That dude that you see getting loose like goofy (Ooh wee)
Pour me some of those pickle backs
I'm sniffing yak to a disco track
And this chick just kicked up in the bathroom
“Somebody get me a vacuum”
I don't have shrooms cuz I ate ‘em all
I'm drunk as hell face against the wall
And I'm looking up, falling down
F*ck it whatcha-ma-call-it pal?
[Chorus]
Oh yeah
I'm drunk
Who are you?
I'm high
Oh yeah
I'm drunk
Who are you?
Goodbye
[Verse 2]
Feeling weird as f*ck
Still at the spot, beer in my cup
“Hey where's Dave”? - he's here I thought
Nah? That's just a mirror with cloth - whoops
I'm sotally tober holding a cobra pose doing yoga on the dance floor
Someone get the bartender I'm spending some more
Moolah whoo-sah my face on Medusa
I'm so high when I close my eyes they go to Saint Lucia
Whats new sir? Trying to rally
Back of the alley macking on Sally ("Eww")
She ain't having it “You just puked on yourself”
Yeah I'm sick - going Kristen Wig
Double fisting for the Instagram pic
I'm super loose like a Rubik's cube
That been lubed up more than Hooter's b**bs
“Call Uber dude” - nah forget that noise
The nights still young just respect your boy
I got condoms and ex and I'm gone son don't stress
[Chorus]