I got a pond in my garden as you might well know
It's where I keep my newts and I watch them grow
But there is only one thing in my pond
With which I have formed an emotional bond
Pondweed, it grows from seed
I said pondweed, yeah yeah
And I water my pond weed every day
'cause I know it likes to be treated that way
'cause I'm fine with eating animals
But calling plants weeds
It's just out of my limits
It makes my seethe
And I know that my pondweed hates it too
'cause when I say weed it turns a sickly hue
Sickly hue, Sickly hue, Oh what would you do
If I called you a weed and you did not want me to
So why is the English language so discriminatory
Because we refer to pondweed with words derogatory
So why are some plants weeds and other plants plants
'cause these sort of things do not happen by chance
The use of the word weed should really be banned
But I still have to use it for you to understand
And I've said the word weed multiple times
Which in my pondweed's opinion is a heinous crime
'cause I'm fine with eating animals
But calling plants weeds
It's just out of my limits
It makes my seethe
And I know that my pondweed hates it too
'cause when I say weed it turns a sickly hue
Sickly hue, Sickly hue, Oh what would you do
If I called you a weed and you did not want me to
Plant life with the intellectual capacity of a flip-flop
Can still know when it's getting ripped off
Be nice to your pond weed, it photosynthesises
And without photosynthesis the world would be in a crisis
So don't call it a weed
Call it a plant
Pondplant, pondplant
Pondplant, pondplant
'cause I'm fine with eating animals
But calling plants weeds
It's just out of my limits
It makes my seethe
And I know that my pondweed hates it too
'cause when I say weed it turns a sickly hue
Sickly hue, Sickly hue, Oh what would you do
If I called you a weed and you did not want me to
If I called you a weed and you did not want me to