Ladies and gentlemen
The host of phat, uhh, phat or wack?
Uhh your friend and mine
Bink chipperwink (applause)
Hello everybody
I'm bink chipperwink
And this is phat or wack!
The rules are simple
Each one of our teams will play music
From their upcoming album
And the studio audience will judge by applause
Now let's meet our contestants
Team number 1 from the southwest side of detroit
They are violent j and shaggy 2 dope
The insane clown posse (boo!)
And team number 2 from the east side of detroit
They are jamie madrox and the monoxide child
Twiztid (boo!)
Now let's play phat or wack
Alright team number 1 first
The insane clown posse, are you ready?
Yeah, yeah i'm ready bink, we ready
What song are you gonna play for us?
Terrible, naww umm
f** the world, yeah yeah
Uhh, bink f** the world, yup
Ladies and gentlemen
This is insane clown posse f** the world
It's your turn to judge
Phat or wack?
f**, f** that sh**
f** give it to me
If i only could i'd set the world on fire (x3)
Say f** the world
f** the world!
f** 'em all
f** 'em all
f** you, f** me, f** us
f** tom, f** mary, f** gus
f** dairius
f** the west coast
And f** everybody on the east
Eat sh** and die
Or f** off at least
f** pre-schoolers, f** rulers
Kings and queens and gold j**elers
f** wine coolers
f** chickens, f** ducks
Everybody in your crew s**s
Punk muthaf**s
f** critics, f** your review
Even if you like me, f** you!
f** your mom, f** your mom's mama
f** the beastie boys and the daili llama
f** the rain forest, f** a forest gump
You probably like it in the rump
f** a shoe pump
f** the real deal
And f** all the fakes
f** all 52 states, oooh
And f**...
(buzz) well, that sound means that your time is out
Ladies and gentlemen of the audience
If you thought was phat let's hear a round of applause
(crickets chirp)
Ewww, i'm sorry
Well, that could mean only one thing
That sh** was wack!
(applause)
Ok we're gonna move right along here
Team number 2, twiztid
Are you gentlemen ready?
Yeah we straight
Ok what's your first selection for us today?
Hey, hey man they just hoed my sh**
f** the world was the sh**
Diemuthaf**adie
Naww, uh uh
We gonna come with 2nd hand sec, this on?
2nd hand smoke, yeah yeah 2nd hand smoke
Alright ladies and gentlemen prepare yourself
This is twiztid, 2nd hand smoke
You be the judge
Phat or wack?
Free your mind
I represent the east side, no peace
f** the police
We tell you to increase the deceased at least
A grown man tellin you something that he believe
Practice to deceive, no more tricks up my sleeve
What the f** b**h, chuck b**h
Why you talkin sh**?
Better duck b**h
Before your dome get hit
This sh** is twiztid deeper than that old french braid
Stickier than jam and jelly phased, kick it
Everybody else real talkin bout something
What you thought you heard b**h,
Can it, cause your frontin
Dead wrong
Dinner table conversations
Leavin' you pistol-whipped in the corner with abrasions
Part of the contamination of mind state
Sleep in a dream, hopin it's gone when i awake
Mama think i'm a play on play serial k**a
Fruitloop biting my mind like godzilla
We survive like catapillas in cocoons and caskets
Stretch the industry like elastic
So fantastic, like the newport cigarette that i smoke
Hit the motherf**a till i choke
I brag and i boast about nothin
d**h, dying, and hoes f**in
So understand that he's saying something
Never be heard i'm underground with the dirt and grime
Smashin heads be my reason for rhyme
I'm on time like a motherf**a
Leavin you hangin in the forest
Standin in some comfortable shifts like chuck norris
Check the chorus
Second hand smoke when you breath
Remember what i told you always believe
You relieve on the monoxide child and wild
Travel the world on nine cloud screaming loud
Free your mind
Breath it in second hand smoke
Free your mind
Breath it in second hand smoke
You phony b**hes wanna shut...
(buzz)
Oh times up
Audience phat or wack?
Applause please
(one clap, then wind blowing)
Ohh i'm sorry
It seems that this audience also feels
That sh** was wack!
Personally i think they both s**
(applause)
Ok back to contestants number 1
Uhh hopefully this time gentlemen
You'll come with somethin
A little more likable for me and the audience
(they f**in s**)
Are you ready?
Yeah man c'mon
Yeah we ready fat b**h
What's the name of your selection?
Uhh hold on hold on uhh i have the bomb sh** dawg
The shaggy show, can't fail
That's wack dawg
Aight then what?
Muf**in terrible...
Aight hey we want you to play uhh terrible, bink
Here it is, insane clown posse, terrible
Phat or wack?
Muthaf**a
You don't know sh** do ya?
You wouldn't know sh**
If it ripped into your ugly b**h a** face
You ain't even begun to expierence drama muthaf**a your mama
Your muthaf**in big fat chicken faced a**ed mama
Don't even know about this drama, muthaf**a
Oh my god look at that, turn it up please
Poor nancy kerrigan's sweet little knees
Somebody took a black thing and went thump
That's terrible we heard about it for months
What about that one nobody guy that they found
Dead in the gra**
With his dick in his a**
Unless there was more
But you won't recall
Cause michael jackson squeezed up
On some little kids balls
What you consider drama
Ain't all that
It's just that your wack
With your intergalactic satellite data compress
Yes, but we can't feed the homeless
And then oj's wack story unfolded
Everybody watched that while okalahoma exploded
900 good reasons why this world don't really care
Thats what it costs for a wheel chair!
What you know bout terrible?
Terrible, you don't know what's terrible
Terrible, what you know bout terrible?
Terrible, you don't know what's terrible...
(buzz)
There's the buzzer
Audience phat or wack?
That sh** was wack!
Ohh you guys f**in s**
Your momma s**s my dick
Ok we'll move back over here to team number 2
Twiztid are you ready?
Man f** you we ready
Do you have a song selected?
Yeah we got a song
What you wanna go with
Man it don't matter
This muthaf**a (they booing everything)
Yeah that's what i'm sayin
Rock the dead, f** it
Bink b**h
Bink b**h
f** you
This is twiztid rock the dead
Phat or wack?
Wake up, float to the sky
Bring the wicked sh** and the dead will arise
Wake up, float to the sky
Bring the wicked sh** and the dead will arise
Come on
Space and beyond
Mind dumpin in the yard
I stoles your headstone from your grave plot
Conscience and confused
Seen tomorrows dreams on tonights news
Fallin through a hole in the sky
Will i die?
You know the time multiplied with this life, love, and lies
Steppin in the darkness
Walkin through my conscience
Like an android i remain heartless
Underground, and mental know me well
Bring it to the white lights of the depths of hell
Walk through the time flux hand and hand with clear mind
Chords are harmonious like the rhythm of windchimes
Peel back the rhyme and examine the fruit
Rotten to the core buried in they best suits
Maggots crawling on they face,
Eyes sunk in they head
Throw your f**in arms up and rock the dead
Wake up, float to the sky
Bring the wicked sh** and the dead will arise
Wake up, float to the sky
Bring the wicked sh** and the dead will arise
Come on
Got me a mic, and now we ache like the dead
And all we wanna do is rock the dead
So many thoughts runnin all through my head
But the only one that's clear is rock the...
(buzz)
Time's up
Ladies and gentlemen
Phat or wack?
(silence)
Ohh as that was some sort of surprise
This audience feels
That sh** was wack!
Ok we're gonna mosey on back over to team number 1
The insane clown posse
Fella's are you ready?
Yeah, yeah we ready
But i want uhh everyone in the studio audience
To know y'all can s** my dick!
That's great, but uhh save the drama for your momma
Man i'm bout to bring the drama to your muthaf**in chin
Punk a** b**h
I'm scared, bring it
Now this is your last chance
Do you have a selection ready?
Man f** it
Let's hit em up with another love song
Yeah they'll probably like the p**y sh**
Uhh another love song b**h
Ok ladies and gentlemen
This is insane clown posse another love song
Phat or wack?
Yeah, i mean i hear what your sayin
I mean you got carried away in the moment
And i could forgive you...i could do that
I could do anything if i wanted to
I could buy you a lexus truck
With a white leather interior (i could)
I could k** off some bears and dogs and sh**
Just to make you a fur coat
I could love you and treat you with cla** (oh yeah)
And have babies fallin all out your a**
But thinkin about that
I feel i'd rather k** you
Cause i got you in my car
You ain't goin no were b**h your dead
I'd rather cut that neck in half
I'd rather choke out that b**h a**
I'd rather chop and never stop
Because you f**ed my homie
I'd rather cut that neck in half
I'd rather choke out that b**h a**
I'd rather chop and never stop
Because you f**ed my homie...
(buzz)
Well that was a good song, (fart) not
Well audience you built the casket
Time to nail it shut
Phat or wack?
That sh** was wack!
Well that's gonna do it for insane clown posse it's time for you guys to hit the door
Cause you're definitely wack
Man f** you, f** the show, f** the audience (ok)
All y'all can f** off
Man f** y'all
Yo jeckel brothers out may 25th juggalos
Yeah, yeah, yeah
f** off, f** off, f** off
Alright don't let the door hit you on the a**
We've seen it all before
People come here so eager
And leave so bitter (hahaha)
On to team number 2
Ok twiztid here's your last chance
Are you ready?
Man we should f** you up
Negative muthaf**a
What's the selection you're gonna play?
Uhh we got whatthef**
Umm there's a few but i'm tellin you man
There's crazy booin, crazy
I'm like it don't matter
How does it feel? bink b**h
How does it feel?
It probably feels wack
Ladies and gentlemen
How does it feel?
Phat or wack?
How does it feel to be you
How does it feel to feel the way you do
It's so decisive
And i don't care if you like or you hate me
I know you muthaf**as bout to underrate me
How does it feel to be you
How does it feel to feel the way you do
It's so decisive
And i don't care if you like or you hate me
I know you muthaf**as bout to underrate me
You label me a paranoid schizophrenic
Known on this planet for 2 things
Talkin sh** and automatic
Mind gets transferred in little walks through the woods
Bury you alive if i could
Robin through the hood with a body in the trunk
Unidentified because he's known as a chump
I hear him keep talking junk in my ear
But nobody else can hear
I look around and i'm feeling weird
Palms are sweaty i'm about to black out
Last chance but nothing could stop this twiztid sprout
I'm all about mad cussing
f** you and the red martian
Peon wrecking and skull crushing
Turning b**hes to dust and when i recite you folks die
Like i creep in the night, i let your soul fly
So high that i never touch ground
Make it so your bodies never found
Another unsolved mystery
Looking for some nobody
Every single night on tv
Try to get me to see
My eyes closed and rolled back
Holdin a thought deep in my mind about a car jack
Another break down in the middle of the street
People just kept moving they feet
Treat me like a freak, so how am supposed to act
So when you see me muthaf**a...
(buzz)
There's the buzzer
Audience how did that feel?
That sh** was wack!
Tell me about it
Twiztid beat it (man you beat it)
Get the hell outta here (naww f** that)
We been here all day
Three strikes and your out
June 22nd fool twiztid mostasteless
Yeah i know, go ahead
Yeah you know, you don't know nuthin b**h
Let the door close
Ok ladies and gentlemen
We're not gonna leave you with all that wackness
So as the credits roll
We'd like you to enjoy
The all time grand champion danny k
Now this is what real music is about
Until next time
I'm burt chipperwolf
And this has been phat or wack
(some wack rapping)
Promotional consideration paid for
By island slash psychopathic
If for any reason you should care for or like
One of the groups that was wack
Might i suggest you go pick up one of their albums
The insane clown posse uhh
Entitled the amazing jeckel brothers
Which will be in stores nationwide may 25th
Or twiztid mostasteless
Which will be in stores nationwide june 22nd
As always we'd like to thank you for your
Participation in watching this fine television program that's copyright 1999