I am a Buddha, a bruiser, the King of all Kings
And I'm drinking to forget the feelings that a hangover brings
All the ladies love the brown man in the hottest of things
So come on
In a place called London, a brain dysfunctions
The chalk of a life of missed line punch lines
At half nine, I was feeling fine
But now it's past time I'm like the scene of a crime
I asked myself, 'What will it be?'
Another three or five pints before I reach insanity
Already lost ability to see clearly
I saw my nuts out flying freely
Beers got a hold of me like I'm in the north sea
On nothing but a dinghy that's sinking
I'm thinking this gin I'm drinking
Will cause amnesia in the morning
This means it's OK to slap arse
Humiliate people, walk with rats arse
A packet of cigs now
Will always pa**
?????
Cos I left my friends in the middle of a night club at a quarter past three
I walked for seven miles just trying to find an empty taxi
D'ya know, I was robbed of all my money and my identity, so come on
Been on the bed here for days
The world is a haze
Imagining your girl take it ten different ways
Slide on my face if the toilet floor's wet
Sleeping on the mat of my mammas door step
Lately, all my friends hate me
I'm aching like my bones are breaking
If you see me girls, I'll always be smiling
Cos in my mind you're slowly undressing
I'm disputing, jacking and bruising
Never hesitating to get the brews in
Like an alcoholic, I'm down from tits
So paralytic I chat up dustbins
Where's the bull, Its through the gate
I don't want to have to masturbate
Way off in space, I lost all taste
Getting chased by females that don't have a face
When I got home I found my best friend and my girlfriend alone
They'd shagged for hours and hours whilst I was left for dead on the floor
I had to punch myself to wake me from this horrible dream, so come on
I am a Buddha, a bruiser, the King of all Kings
And I'm drinking to forget the feelings that a hangover brings
All the ladies love the brown man in the hottest of things
So come on
Come on
Come on