[Slug]
Once upon a time, not long ago
When the Battlecat still used to rip floor at my show
Everybody had a good time
And we just wanted to climb inside of your behind
[Eyedea]
Then there was this one kid they called Eyedea
And they said his head looked like a peanut
Hey yo, he was about to break them troops
He had to say the truth
He didn't get girls but he had a cool Asics suit
[Illogic]
There was this one kid named Illogic
Everyone said he was good at doing science projects
So when he was in elementary school
Writing on his hands and on his desk
To get the answers to the test
[Sage Francis]
There was this one kid named Sage Francis
And they only liked him when he would rhyme pantless
So he went up in there just wearing his underwear
Like I don't give a 'uffing care!
[Aesop Rock]
Yo, there was this one kid named Aesop Rock
Used to lounge in the back of the block
Attacking the cops
It's all good in the hood
He raised up his celly
Called God on the phone and said "helly, helly"
[Blueprint]
Yo, this kid named Blueprint
Came in the jam with some toast
It was filled with jelly
Wiped your girl, took her to the telly
Didn't have to give her no melly
[Slug]
But this one that always missed the bus
And I would smack the erasers and sniff the dust
That's why I got messed up, they call me Slug
And everybody just thinks I did a lot of d**
[Blueprint]
Yo I went to school, but I ain't learned nothin' right?
I only came to school to fight, and pencil-fight
Throwin' pencils in the roof and sh**
Buggin' out, on some ruthless sh**!
[Eyedea]
Yo, it's that ruthless ish, you know Eyedea can
Sage Francis was good at eatin' crayons
That's all he used to do
You can tell by the color of his teeth....
[Sage Francis]
...Aw! Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah
It wasn't Sage Francis that ate the crayons
It was another man that went by the name of Xaul Zan
Only problem with him is he had no fans
And that's cause he couldn't get with the program
[Eyedea]
Hey yo, let me ruin some
Yo I do it some
Yo, Xaul Xan used to use glue as chewing gum
Hey it's funny, just look at his gums
It may be cancer
Now he's a backup dancer
[Slug]
Yo why you guys busting out everybody's bubble?
You all got in a whole bunch of effing trouble
I used to see you after school, tied up
The gym teacher would tie you up and kiss you on the back of your neck
[Blueprint]
That's cause I was banging her
She used to like to kiss me, I used to like to hang wit' her
I used to take her to the closet, and bang her
Put her a** on a hanger
[Eyedea]
I said "Hey girls, you wanted me to deejay?"
After that night, it was a guaranteed "A"
Plus, for the rest of this semester
And then I introduced her to Little Mikey, aka Webster
[Slug]
I was a who*e, you know
I got a four-point-oh
I hooked up with every teacher that wasn't at two-oh
Well I mean, wait I mean, there was one that was like 53
Did me and the whole hockey team, you should see
[Blueprint]
So make sure you kids stay in school
Cause look what happened to us here fools
Now we can't get jobs so we have to rap
So stay in school so you don't end up like that
[Aesop Rock]
Nah man, forget school: studyin' wasn't my steez
In school I was so dumb I used to get Gs
That's a step beyond Fs
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