[Verse 1: illbert]
Yeah I'm a f**ed up, sick self-absorbed a**hole
I'll ha**le you, you want some spit? Here's a gla**ful
King of the castle, I'm the male alpha
Little rascal, bad hair like Alfalfa
I'll scalp ya, like an overzealous hair stylist
Do what you gotta do to stay off of my list
Rarely raise my eyelids, too busy being high, b**h
My privates would like to find their way between your thighs, b**h
My now you've surmised that I'm a f**ing dickwad
Until you s** me you're the headless who*e, I'm Ichabod
Cold like Iditarod, I froze your mouth now is it thawed?
Blasphemous a**hole, yo, I spit on God
Your logic's flawed, so take a dose of mine
Let's see what sense you can make out of Joe's sick mind
Did you hear that personal recursion?
What kinda guy speaks in the third person?
Ha! The kind that I'm worse than
f**, sh**, god damn it I'm cursin'
It's unnervin', I'm not deservin'
Of sympathy, cause my mind's so disturbin'
I'm on the verge of mergin' with the version
Of the world in my head behind the curtain
I'm quite certain, you might say positive
Abilities cognitive are my prerogative
I'm provocative, I'd claim to make you think
But I'm not sure you can, cause you're the weak link
You sober's like me after six drinks
And I'm gone before you can blink
[Verse 2: illbert]
What you've got here is a chance to eat my thoughts up
If you could see them all, you'd want me locked up
It's a toss-up, am I a hero or a villain?
Depends on who you ask, and who I'm feelin'
Oooh, I'm chillin', kicked back, co*ky
Most thrilling word spiller this side of the Rockies
I'm a mountain, more like a molehill
Hey b**h, would you like to have your hole filled?
Like Michael Scofield, you can't contain me
I'm dropping references just to prove I'm brainy
Clearly egomania's part of my character
But I'm the narrator, so I don't care if you're mad
I'll flip a pair of birds I barely heard you anyways
Too busy eating breakfast- bacon, pancakes, Denny's eggs
I slam with grandeur, your grandpa's got cancer
You got a question? I am the answer
So give me a fanfare, da-da-dah
If you anger me, I'll come for ya
I won't murder or maim, just humiliate
Better call your boss and tell him you'll be really late
Cause I affiliate with nations that facilitate
Torture, I'll waterboard ya, don't asphixiate
Just breathe, I pollute the air when I exhale
I got a sick mind, twisted like a pretzel
If you don't like me well then take the track and mute it
But be aware if it's not there then you cannot dispute that
Something about my own voice is therapeutic
Cause I'm the (a piece of) sh** according to my own rubric
[Bridge: illbert]
Detest me, but don't arrest me
Seven sins, and I'll confess these:
Sip Hennessy, and smoke the best weed
Is that wrath, greed, pride, sloth, or envy?
I got plenty of empty-head etudes
Don't recommend that the sensitive stay tuned
Cause lately I ain't been a great dude
If you don't hate me, well then I hate you