(So sick, so sick, so sick, so sick...)
[Verse 1: Ill-Noize]
...So sick of being alone
Never a knock at the door, or ring on the phone...
So sick of being myself
Runnin' a constant uphill battle with my mental health...
So sick of being used
Thought I had this all figured out, but I didn't have a clue, left me feeling blue, broken & bruised, I'm split in two, left me to rot in my room with the paths you'd choose...
Now it's a year down the line, I can't believe I thought that cheatin' b**h was one of a kind
Was livin' blind, only thinkin' in that moment in time, but now I see the bigger picture & I'm gonna be fine, but there's still always something hanging in the back of my mind
I crave to find another soul & intertwine, someone to call mine...
Or just another f**
That's just my luck, another couple months fueled by d** & lust, with no trust, never even went to lunch, just a fling for the weekend
& by Monday it's dust, to clean up...
I guess I can't complain, because the tangible will forever be what I crave
I have no time for games, I've got no time to waste, I move fast, but at the same time I be keepin' my pace... it's no race...
[Bridge: Ill-Noize]
(...& some days I just can't face myself...
Because everyone left & it erased my health...)
& some days I just can't face myself...
Because everyone left & it erased my health, uh!
[Verse 2: Ill-Noize]
We could be conscious of all this
But if not, it's cool, there's no love lost
But I love our flaws, yea I love them all
Embrace the imperfections that make us who we are, that leave scars...
Just learn & grow, live long & prosper
Living with an imposter, living with yourself
Hunny, pick up your posture
You're a two-headed coin, just a prop
You ain't cost nothin'!
I only have myself to blame, I see the first sign of failure & I run away, I always stray
Get distant, avoid the places you stay
& slowly lose all connection like friends from back in the day, like sh**ty cell service...
Like a loose bu*ton on your favorite shirt...
Like a rake you took my name & dragged it through the dirt, & that sh** hurts, but I've moved on because it could be worse, I mean...
It's so predictable you start to expect it
& every time it gets easier to accept it
It wasn't right, we weren't meant to be
Besides I'm so busy, I should just worry 'bout me
People come & go, the right ones stick around
Your other half becomes another face in the crowd
But the good thoughts float as the bad ones drown
As long as you get up & don't take it lying down!
This is for every girl that I wish would call back
But won't, because they think I can't keep my dick in my pants, so they ghost before we even get a chance to build a romance
You know you ain't the first, but baby you could be the last...
We could run away, a place where no one knows our names, take a boat to an Island
Or just hop on a plane, lost in a daze, just lost in my ways, reminiscing on when my black heart
Wasn't just hungry for fame...