[Hook: Ill-Noize]
I've...
Come to far to give this up now
& the world knows that I'm way too proud
Standing with my back towards the crowd
'cause the voice inside is way too loud
(×2)
[Verse 1: Ill-Noize]
I try to smoke it out like a rodent
I need something a little more potent
The doors closing, gotta slip through the crack
But will I fit with this monkey on my back?
Will I make it out just in time?
Or end up sellin' my soul for a couple racks?
I gotta get my mind on track, I'm goin' loco-motive, everything I do, I got good motives
But will I go unnoticed?
I'm not a ghost, just bent, not broken...
Everything I love seems to fall apart
Without even a warning, leaves me in the dark
& I don't know where to start, over...
I'm looking for some luck in a four leaf clover
But it's hard to stay focused when I can't stay sober... (can't stay sober...)
Back in my cold room sippin' on liquor
Trying to forget, but my mind gets sicker
Thought the weed would keep me from slippin'
But there's no extended hand to catch me when I'm fallin'...
Wake up in my bed, man I must be trippin'
Might have to hold off, but the d** keep callin'...
I can't keep stalling... f** it, I'm all in...
I gotta give it all I f**in' got
I gotta face my fears if ima make it to the top
Can't be shy, I gotta spit with pride, gotta show 'em I got a real reason to be alive
Survival of the fittest, this ain't a scrimmage
& this is no longer just the beginning
Who do you think you're kidding?
Ima spit an image of me winning, haha
King sh**
[Hook]
[Verse 2: Ill-Noize]
I've fallen in & out of depression so many times in the last 3 years, it just doesn't make sense...
I thought I had myself all figured out, but now my grip on reality, is leanin' on the fence
Everything I love, just left me
I wasn't even sad, just empty, numb
But I have to face myself, I got nowhere to run...
Goddammit, not another panic attack
It's been over a year, thought I was done with that
All the colors in me just fade to black
& what if my homies think that my music's wack?!
Don't got much left to live for
Haven't felt this cold in years
But I gotta move past the pain
Stand up, wipe away these tears!
Depression, Anxiety, OCD
I can't let these conditions control me
Can't let fear rule my life
The Devil's on my shoulder
But I won't abide!
Thought all this pain had died
But it came back worse than ever
Brought me right back to square 1
But maybe those ties were meant to be severed
Have to look at things as lessons learned
I gave my heart away, came back bruised & burned
Don't have much to live for...
At least that's what the voices in my head say
I could could end it all, step in front of this train
Or I could take a step back, & work through the pain
But for now, I just gotta get through the days...