[Verse 1, rap: Jackson]
I need a dirt bike to jump through a bird house
With a garage and suitable tool shelf
Before I get crows feet, I better be knee deep
In fresh fruit receding my gum line (Check please!)
Carry a mouse trap as part of my heritage
Holes in the bed sheet to consummate marriages
I put a cinnamon stick on a bureaucrat
My name is Nate and he's Matt
[Chorus, sung: Jackson and Jared]
Matt and Nate, oh yeah [x2]
[Verse 2, rap: Jared]
Security blanket brandisher, hot cigar handler
Rolled Alice examiner, compulsive gambler
Consulting Ayn Rand
I dig the Sundays, a big slowcore fan
I dabble in decoupage, I jam on it
I pan fry a mean twelve egg white omelet
I curl heavy free weights, avoid carbohydrates
My name is Matt Kukla and he's Nate
[Chorus]
[Outro, spoken]
[Jackson] Hey Matt
[Jared] Hey Nate
[Jackson] Can I borrow your Umbros?
[Jared] Yes
[Jackson] Cool