Frank zappa (guitar, synclavier)
Steve vai (guitar)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Tommy mars (keyboards)
Chuck wild (piano)
Arthur barrow (ba**)
Scott thunes (ba**)
Jay anderson (string ba**)
Ed mann (percussion)
Chad wackerman (drums)
Ike willis (vocals)
Terry bozzio (vocals)
Dale bozzio (vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (vocals)
Bob harris (vocals)
Johnny "guitar" watson (vocals)
Ensemble: (displaying dummy #1)
Do you know what you are?
Thing-fish:
Dat what i ast ya!
Ensemble:
You are what you is you is what you am
Thing-fish:
And dat de trufe!
Ensemble:
(a cow don't make ham...)
Thing-fish:
I meant dat now!
Ensemble:
You ain't what you're not
Thing-fish:
Not even hardly...
Ensemble:
So see what you got
Thing-fish:
And you got a lot o' lookin' t'do, junior!
Ensemble:
You are what you is
Thing-fish:
Dat entirely too correct!
Ensemble:
An' that's all it 'tis!
Thing-fish:
Uh-huhhhh!
Ensemble:
A foolish young man
Thing-fish:
Bring dat dummy ovuh heah 'n show it to 'em!
Ensemble:
Stashed away in san quentim ate de mys'try potatoes
Thing-fish:
Told ya 'bout dem 'taters!
Ensemble:
Evil prince was inventin' now he talk like de thing-fish
Thing-fish: (manipulating the dummy)
("hmmmm, saffiiiee!")
Ensemble:
An' he look like a mammy!
Thing-fish: (manipulating the dummy)
("see de mammy, now! see de mammy, now!")
Ensemble:
His fav'rit co-log-numm...
Thing-fish:
Smell like...
Sister potato head bobby brown, sister ghenghis adonis osmosis, sister jasmine noxema tapioca:
Chitlins!
Ensemble:
Is de one dey call 'sammy'!
Thing-fish:
One-adam-twelve...see de mammy...
Ensemble:
He finally layin'
Thing-fish:
Armed 'n dangerous, reproach wit cautium!
Ensemble:
De whole thang down, 'cept de nivea lotium!
Thing-fish:
Rub it on good, now!
Ensemble:
An de royal crown!
Thing-fish:
Take good care o' dat "ash"!
Ensemble:
Do you know what you are?
Thing-fish:
You's a wimp...she's a shrew!
Ensemble:
You are what you is
Thing-fish:
Got dat?
Ensemble:
You is what you am
Thing-fish:
One-adam-twelve, see de mammy agin'!
Ensemble:
(a cow don't make ham...)
Thing-fish:
And it never will...
Ensemble:
You ain't what you're not,
Thing-fish:
Unless science do somethin' 'bout it!
Ensemble:
So see what you got!
Thing-fish:
I know dey woikin' on it...
Ensemble:
You are what you is,
Thing-fish:
Underneath virginia!
Ensemble:
An' that's all it 'tis!
Thing-fish:
Boog-boogmmm, dano..."mammy one"! they toss dummy #1 into the wings, an d introduce dummy #2 to harry & rhonda. their torture-chairs, (on a rolling platform), are wheeled to center
E. the action takes place all around them.
Ensemble: (showing dummy #2)
A foolish young man
Of de negro persuasion
Devoted his life
To become a caucasian
He stopped eating pork
He stopped eating greens
He trade his dashiki
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon: (manipulating the dummy)
("uhuru!")
Ensemble:
For some jordache jeans!
He learned to play golf
An' he got a good score
Now he says to himself:
"i ain't no..."
Thing-fish:
"nignint!"
Ensemble:
No more...hey! hey! hey!"
Thing-fish:
One-adam-twelve, see de "nignint" wit knife... proceed wif cautium...knife may be open...
Ensemble:
Bwana ma-coo-bah
Harry:
All right! let's go!
Ensemble:
Mercedes bainnnzzzzz!
Ensemble:
Who is who?
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon: (singing)
I don't know...
Ensemble:
'n what is what
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
Somethin' i just don't know...
Ensemble:
'n why is this
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
Tell me now...
Ensemble:
Appropriot
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
That's a funny pronunciation, if'n ever i heard one!
Ensemble:
If you don't like
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
Where'd you get that word?
Ensemble:
What you has got
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
Appropriot? the word is not!
Ensemble:
Drop it in the dirt
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
Drop it, yeah!
Ensemble:
'n let it rot
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
I can smell it now!
Ensemble:
Someone else
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
Here de come, here de come!
Ensemble:
Will surely come
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
I told you he was comin'!
Ensemble:
'n pick it up
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
That's right!
Ensemble:
'cause he wants some
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
An' he wants it for free!
Ensemble:
And when one day
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
There will come a day!
Ensemble:
You wonder who
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
I wonder too!
Ensemble:
You used to was
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
Who i was, anyway!
Ensemble:
'n what you do
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
I used to work at the post office!
Ensemble:
You'll scratch your head
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
But i don't wanna un-do my doo!
Ensemble:
'n look around
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
To see what's goin' on!
Ensemble:
But what you lost
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
Can't seem to find it!
Ensemble:
Will not be found
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
A mercedes benz!
Ensemble:
Do you know what you are?
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
I know!
Ensemble:
You are what you is
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
I'm the kinda guy...
Ensemble:
You is what you am
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
That ought to be drivin'
Ensemble:
A cow don't make ham
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
A four-fifty slc...
Ensemble:
You ain't what you're not
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
A big ol' red one!
Ensemble:
So see what you got
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
With some golf clubs stickin' out de trunk!
Ensemble:
You are what you is
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
I'm gwine down to de links on saturday mornin'!
Ensemble:
An' that's all it is
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
Gimme a five dollar bill!
Ensemble:
You are what you is
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
And an overcoat too...
Ensemble:
An' that's all it is
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
Where's my waitress, yeahhhh!
Ensemble:
You are what you is
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
Robbie, take me to greek town!
Ensemble:
An' that's all it is
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
I'm harder than yer husband; harder than yer husband!
Ensemble:
You are what you is
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
I'm goin' down to white street, to the mudd club, y'all!
Ensemble:
An' that's all it is
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
I'm goin' down 'n work the wall! 'n work the floor
Ensemble:
You are what you is
Sister owl-gonkwin-jane cow-hoon:
'n work the pipe, 'n work the wall some more!
Ensemble:
An' that's all it is