Frank zappa (guitar, synclavier)
Steve vai (guitar)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Tommy mars (keyboards)
Chuck wild (piano)
Arthur barrow (ba**)
Scott thunes (ba**)
Jay anderson (string ba**)
Ed mann (percussion)
Chad wackerman (drums)
Ike willis (vocals)
Terry bozzio (vocals)
Dale bozzio (vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (vocals)
Bob harris (vocals)
Johnny "guitar" watson (vocals)
Harry: (to thing-fish)
Anything you say, master! take me, i'm yours!
Rhonda: (broadway-style fake singing)
Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way!
Oh, what fun it is to ride
To chicago every day, oh...
Thing-fish:
Oooh, lawd! lookit you, boy! chain thoo de nipples 'n evvy goddam thing! you a sick white muthaf**er, ain'tcha?
Rhonda:
Bells on bob-tail ring,
Making spirits bright!
Oh, what fun it is to ride
To chicago every night, oh...
Harry:
For chrissake, rhonda! have you no shame?
Thing-fish:
Y'all make up y'mind yet, 'bouts de mammy o' yo' dreams?
Harry:
You bet! i've waited all my life for this moment! my heart is fluttering! if only i could submit myself on approval, for a limited time only...to ...to that nasty little rubber mammy on your kne
Thing-fish:
Sister ob'dewlla 'x'? de mys'try sister? y'all wants t'party hearty with de min'yature rubber mammy wit de string out de back? yow! dintcha get 'nuff 'buse fum de other b**h when y'was livin' i
Card-bo'd hut?
Rhonda:
Harry...harry...hey! harry! f**ing wor-r-r-mmmmmmmmmm! i want a divorce, harry!
Harry:
Not now, dearest, please! this is serious! little mammy, what'll it be? hips or lips?
Harry snatches sister ob'dewlla 'x' away from thing-fish, bashing himself with it in an irrational manner.
Rhonda un-zips the santa claus costume, revealing the rubber body suit, hoping for some sign of interest from her deranged husband. there isn't any...he's beating the f** out of himself and lov
Very minute of it.
She squeezes her rubber tits, as if to squirt them at him. still no interest.
Rhonda:
You're a wor-r-r-r-mmmmmmm! a f**ing wor-r-r-r-m-m-m-m-mmmmmmmmmmm! these are my tits, harry! i have tits! look! look at me! look at my wonderful tits, you f**ing wor-r-r-r-r-mmmmmmmm! i'm goi
Pretend i'm squirting them on you! whoo! wheeeee! almost gotcha!
Harry:
Not now, rhonda! ow! oof! oh, i love this! hurt me! hurt me! oh, pull my chain, you tiny potato-headed whatchamacallit!
Rhonda:
They're almost squirting, harry! look! look! whoooooo! whooooo! whoooo! you f**ing worm!
Thing-fish:
Ob'dewlla! is y'awright? don't be pullin' de boy's chain too hard dere! he gots 'nuthuh show t'do t'morrow! don't put dat in yo' mouf, girl! i knows y'cain hep y'seff wit dat crazy muthaf**er '
' you like dat, but jes' hang on a lil' longuh...he be droppin' de wad putty soon now!
Rhonda: (pinching her nipples, jiggling her tits)
Jingle bells, jingle bells...
Harry:
Oh! this is divine!
Rhonda:
This is my p**y, harry! look! see it? you know what i'm gonna do with it, you worm? i'm gonna make it f** something! that's right! you won't get any of it...because you're disgusting! an' i do
Eed you, mr. first-nighter! my wonderful, wonderful p**y doesn't need you! i have my briefcase, harry! i'm going to f** my briefcase! i'm going to...look! look at this! i got it right over her
Ere! see it? my big, brown, briefcase! my briefcase! it's big, harry! it's full of business papers...from my career!
A tan and brown briefcase, seven feet tall, is lowered in. francesco watches it land near his window. he exits the bungalow with a can of crisco and a violin case. n pantomime, he cautiously int
Ts rhonda's monologue, suggesting that she examine the contents of the case. it contains a strap-on dil*o of such ridiculous proportions that a chain leading from just behind the head of it must
Ooked to a leather dog collar around rhonda's neck, in order to hold it up. francesco recommends the crisco as a lubricant, daubs on a bit with a miniature doll's foot, finally indicating that s
Nceal her pubic hair with a cardboard box, in the manner preferred by famous singing christians.
Rhonda reaches inside the briefcase and locates her 'special atomic gla**es' (with tiny doll arms reaching out through tiny cardboard boxes), and puts them on.
She reaches in again and finds an artificial hamburger with a red ribbon on it. she mounts it on top of her head, tying the ribbon in a neat bow below her chin. ready at last, she humps the brie
Vigorously.
Rhonda: (contd.)
I'm gonna put my gla**es on, harry! i'm gonna put my hair up in a bun! then, i'm going f** f** f**! ha-ha-ha-hahhhhh! look! see me? see how i got my hair up? whooo! i'm really doing it! unngh
Gh!
Harry:
Rhonda...have you no shame! keep the briefcase closed, for chrissake! all your documents are falling out!
Rhonda: (as over-sized file folders emerge)
Unngh! i'm good! oh god i'm good! harder! faster! unngh! unngh! this is terrific! boy, i need it so bad...
Harry:
Those are the warner brothers files, aren't they dear? don't you think there'll be some questions about the condition of the blue paper?
Thing-fish:
Girl! bes' be careful wit de latch!
Rhonda: (with the handle in her mouth, semi-intelligible)
I'm s**ing the handle now, harry! look! mmmmmm! it tastes good! mmmmmm! mmmmmm! the handle! the handle!
Harry:
Hurt me, ob'dewlla! make me whimper and beg for your tiny rubber love!
After nibbling on it as if it were a giant piece of corn-on-the-cob, thing-fish hands rhonda an oversized pink fountain pen with her name on the clip.
Rhonda:
I've got a fountain pen, harry! i've got a fountain pen with my initials on it! i'm putting it in my mouth, harry! i'm gonna get it wet! i'm gonna stuff it up my a**hole and ride the briefcase a
You disgusting perverted ba*tard worm! i'm gonna do it! look, harry! whooo! unngh! unngh! god-damit, harry! watch me! this is for your own good!