[Foamy]
Merry Christmas one and all!
I really hate doing holiday specials of any kind
But quite frankly, I'm pissed off at all the neo-yuppie scumbags
Hell-bent on removing the Christmas spirit from the Christmas season!
Every year around the holidays
Some jackoff has to go complaining to some court
About 'how he hates Christmas'
And how this manger scene with Baby Jesus
Offending him at some local school
Well, who the f** cares?
If someone decides to toss a Baby Jesus
On the front lawn during the holiday
What's the f**ing problem?!
And that's another thing
You know how public schools used to do Christmas plays and sh** like that?
They don't do that anymore!
And if they do, they remove all the songs that have any reference to religion in them
No 'Silent Night', no 'Joy to the World'
And no f**ing 'Little Drummer ba*tard'
These are the same time type of 'institutions'
That tell you to be 'tolerant of everyone else's beliefs'
But try to beat every hint of good ol' Saint Nick out of Christmas
How can everyone be offended by a fat guy who gives out free stuff?
What, are we all pissed at Santa because he's fat and happy
And perfectly content with his image?
It's like all these neo-yuppies want to give him an inferiority complex
And put him on a f**in' fatkins diet
And that's why I like Santa
Because he's a fat ba*tard, works one day a year
Is actually happy and eats all the cookies he wants
He rewards the good and punishes the guilty
Kind of like a vigilante with gifts
And just so you know where I'm coming from
I'm not one of these preachy religious fantatics
I don't go to church
And I couldn't care less about humanity's issues with the various gods they worship
I just want Christmas to be Christmas!
Without some f**ing jacka** telling me not to sing Christmas songs
'Because it has religious overtones'
Leave the Christmas folk alone
'Tis the season to shut the f** up and stop being a whiny little b**h!
Stop ruining the holidays, you neo-yuppie scumbag!
Or I'll beat you with a Baby Jesus
So, merry Christmas, one and all
And I don't care who says what
Believe in the power of Santa, or get nothing
[Outro]
You gonna get coal in your stocking
Cause you're yuppie scum
Guess that means more gifts for me
Keep pissing Santa off!