[Chorus #1]
I'm leaving it behind today
Nothing's gonna make me want to stay
You give me burning tongue syndrome
Bid farewell to fire and brimstone
I can't wait to laugh as you all waste away
[Verse #1]
Today I was restocked with sunshine
The feeling in heart is sublime
The reason I'm so jolly's
Cause I get to take a trolley
I'm guzzling a gla** of Astral Wine
Saying goodbye to the sh**
And living happily ever after
Is what gave me the fuse tonight
To erupt in a tantrum of laughter
[Chorus #2]
I'm feeling so damn fine today
You're going to plead for me to stay
You'll view me as a hero
And I'll view you f**s as zero
I'll cry from laughter as you waste away
[Verse #2]
The newsman shared with me some pleasant news
I could take a cruise of laughs and goods and booze
You'll all be pissy grieving
As you see my smile leaving
But I can bid goodbye to the abuse
[Chorus #3]
I feel like I should dine today
I feel like it's Cloud Nine, oh yay
I hope the aircraft crashes
And your corpses burn to ashes
Your bodies would make me so f**ing gay
[Verse #3]
Your car was totaled but your face is worse
God smote you with a forbidden curse
And your hospital stay, it was adverse
When you got out after half a year
A truck driver was full of beer
And he ran your dumb a** down, you f**ing queer
And after six whole years of surgery
You committed a burglary
You got charged with that offense and perjury
And on the twenty-year anniversary
Of the start of that adversity
An injection of HIV left Johnny dead
[Chorus #1]