Woke up with this track in my head, I got the itch again
I missed the bus ‘cause I was bumpin' this, I won't pretend
Been through a couple of my 9 lives since we last met
Here's hopin' Cole and Kendrick understand I gotta vent
I gotta pen
I gotta head full of convoluted cloudy days, let it rain
Let it sting the conscious of those who went on inflicting pain
Then pretended they were not to blame
See, I could name names
But that'd be acting cowardly, that's not my lane
Me?!
I am not the victim, see
I am just in misery
Laying down and catching fleas
That's my responsibility
Life was on a spin cycle downwards, God lifted me, though
So I feel guilty when I don't have grateful energy
Oh Lord
I'm supposed to feel your love and feel fulfilled in theory
But this hamster wheel has got me trapped and I'm sincerely weary of it all
Words don't move me, they used to, now all I hear is a
God! Don't let ‘em get to me, please
I feel the war on my spirit
I feel the devil whispering and your retreat
Sweet nothing's in my ear I'm open
Then I go out and pick the option that is self-destructive
He f**in' loves it
I got dudes in different country codes, pick up the phone
I'm packing, now I'm not alone, but more alone than ever
That's the path I'm on
Feelin' like those that compliment me never knew me
And once they do then they gone
Show me a time I'm wrong
I pretty much got this figured out
God's power works for some, for others' it's just something cool to rap about, so
Before you point your finger
I got my own pointed at my dome that's on the trigger
Ha, see you later
Yours is redundant, f** it
Enjoy your life
Now I'm cursing, this verse is clearly regressing
Mother forgive me, won't ya
I didn't write the verse you want me to
Didn't get inspired by the Holy Ghost to make it something you would do
I let you down clearly
But if you had to cut me off in Jesus' name
Then you would do it swiftly, with no questions, quickly
So I got nothing to lose that I ain't lost already
Abandonment is nothing new to me, I've been there many
Times before 'til it became a normal part of living
Close the door on me, I'm climbing through that windowsill and grinning
I wrote this all on the TTC while my thoughts was spinning
Grandma praying that a faint flame He won't extinguish
Well, I'm runnin' outta options
He might be sick of me
I got a history of runnin' backwards towards all my problems
Don't think this track will solve ‘em
But still I have to write ‘em like my life depended on ‘em
This is my final offering