[Verse 1]
Woke up in the morning, 'bout a quarter to 8
Tennis with the family, don't wanna be late
One more time and I know I'm good as dead
Island paradise and [?]
Free from the hustle and bustle and the tech
Land a cool breeze and the sun on your neck
Clear crystal waters, forests beautiful and lush
Make me wanna say things that'll make your mama blush
Knocked out of my reverie by someone in a rush
Blood splattered on my face from a skull getting crushed
By a big rap dude with a 4x4
And then pistol-whipped by a girl with 44s
Another man and girl carved 'em up like a turkey
I had to get the hell outta there before they hurt me
Hot damn, what the hell went wrong?
This supposed to be vacation, can't we all get along?
Ran up the hill, found the fam in the pool
Inside was all bloody, they glared at me drooling
Mom, Dad, Sis, it's me, stop fooling
Bit my pinkie off, had my poop shoot stooling
[Hook 1]
They drew first blood, but I ran from battle
My own family couldn't tell me from cattle
So I came back armed with six knives and paddles
Rambos up the holes while they sit in the saddle
What was I supposed to do? Become Big League Chew?
I love you Mom and Dad and since I love you too
But like Fists of the North Star, they're already dead
So I hacked off their arms, legs, legs, arms, head
[Verse 2]
All that surround me were the d**hly remains
Of hardly eaten people, blood flowing down drains
Bloody footprints all around
Keeps the people on the ground who'd rather jump than get ate
What the hell is going on? No time for crying
Gotta keep fighting, gotta keep my weapons fixed
If I'm gonna keep from dying, so much cash on this island
Within forgotten luggage and inside bikini lining
Leaving dead broke, but I don't know who's buying
Really been a fighter, so I may created weapons
Out of batteries and lighters and added edge, I'm betting
[?] but I'm a little more threatening
All the moves stalking, no noise, no talking
Avoiding anything sitting, dead or living
Can't tell who wants me dead or wants to eat me for Thanksgiving
Then out on the horizon, saw our ship and I was off
And they were all on me like a flame onto a moth
You are what you eat, but from me, they won't get smarter
I tried to run hard, but they ran harder
Turned around and faced 'em cuz I wasn't getting farther
[Hook 2]
I'm going down swinging, what you think of that?
Swinging hurried flurries with my mighty spiked bat
Beat 'em with my switch, who do you voodoo, b**h?
Throwing one-hitter-quitters with the chrome wave splitter
But they just kept on coming, why won't they stay down?
And the next thing I knew, it was me on the ground
I knew when I woke up that I would wind up dead
And they bit me in the arm, leg, leg, arm, head
[Outro]
But in the end, it really didn't feel so wrong
Cuz I never had so many women chasing me in thongs
And the last thing I remember was a cutie with some dreads
You know, I never thought that I would be grateful... dead