My sadness seems to eat up my inside. Even
then when I met Jesus the first time on my
way out in the world. I begged him just to
release me in this world if it would be worth
living. At that time I thought Jesus is kindly
but now I know he is cruel. He released me
in a world of baseness, of hate and of
unbelievable d**h.
Thy eyes shine like the bloody wounds of
christ. When I touch you my body fades like
a flower in your light. I drink wine from thy
fiery lips and it permeates into my defiled
body. Thy eyes are full of love, warmth and
shelter. Thy sweet lovers kiss makes my
tongue liquifying itself. These are my last
hours before I became blissful. The virginal
d**h is a torture for life but let the virgins
kiss thy heart. Smartened with a thorny crown
my head lies in your fold.
At the beginning I thought my doubts were
thoughts. But this celebration was only pure
hate. Such a delusion and lie leads to your
devil inside, you want me dying with you and
so I pray only to my dead God