[Spoken word]
What's your mind telling you in your head when someone you haven't seen since you were 12 is on your line right now? Rewind remember that one time when Donnavon showed up at the front door we found out he escaped from epd? And stole granpa's car... Rest his heart, I know thats off topic but I miss his heart. So ironically that he was blind but told me how much I've grown everytime I walk through the door. Can't say it was easy being 13 on September 13th watching my grandpa die in my arms. And have to go to school when my D's indicated that I don't give a f** about the math a couple hours later on. Not to mention that one b**h that I treasured by the way I call her b**h because she was. Wanted me to catch another man smashing her. Told me to ride over come in the back, come up stairs and there she was, little s*ut I was a heart break Joe. I should've break that dudes jaw just for playing me like a fool. But instead went upstairs grabbed her fathers rifle and shot that other motherf**ers truck up. I guess that's what lead me to blades, became common in my life like abandonment was. Mommy's less common now, she gave up, after hearing that the boys put a pistol to her sons head. Funny enough, Me and Aunt D were even closer, start to feel some force fly off my shoulder. Until we found out that she has brain cancer and 50, 50, might not make it. Fast forward the Guardian that I call my mom isn't my mom or even close but thats how much I love her. And I feel awkward cause the sound of the door rings from the person that I call her, maybe we ain't ready for it. sh**, what should I put on? f** that I ain't going to my "mom". I waited 2 years for cessation why should I collect it if it might not be something I wanna apprehend. On my family tree is a empty reflection, and in my head of concerns I wanna ask like where the hell where you? Why did you turn my best days into worst days every day that you didn't show? And if you must know, I didn't turn out to be much else than a depressed, self cutting isolated lost soul. Who landed face first into lucifers pit of hell. Took 12 pops of the devels medication, ended up with my social worker helping me cause I couldn't take a step by myself. But I did get out of there. And all my walks got the walk of a legend feel. And I did have a girl that I promised the way you made me felt is the way she will never feel. Slip a xanax in my cup, f** it I'm sickening up. Bags under my eyes, stuttering telling my teacher where I was. I ain't been this nervous since I got mugged. Reach in my draw take another handful hoping to end it with one more touch. Reach for the door, hands slippery I'm tense as f**. Stretching, stick my head out the window 365 days a year waiting for your nissan to pull up. Bro you're saying she's right there? You're saying she's right here? You're telling me if I open up the door right down here... Then she'll be looking right here? And after all these years, am I wrong for being this tense? Of meeting the reflection of my tree... Open up the door and there I meet her.