[Bernstein]
Hey Seymour Krelborn, you prince you
My name is Bernstein, I'm with N.B.C
I came down here to convince you
To do a weekly T.V. show for me
Seymour Krelborn's Gardening Tips
For half and hour on Saturday's at four
T.V.'s first home-gardeing program
You'll make a mint and our ratings will soar
Chorus [Girls]:
They say the meek shall inherit
You know the book doesn't lie
It's not a question of merit
It's not demand and supply
They say the meek gonna get it
And you a meek little guy
You know the meek are gonna get
What's comin' to 'em by and by
[Mrs. Luce]
I'd like a word with you, lover
I'm sure you know me, the Editor's wife
We want your face on the cover
Of the December 3rd issue of Life
Yes the front of Life Magazine
Thats an honor we so seldom grant
We'll send someone down, let's say Thursday
For shots of you and your beautiful plant
Chorus
[Skip Snip]
Forget the cable we sent you
It's nice to meet you, the pleasure is yours
Now let my firm represent you
We want to book you on lecturing tours
College campus, Rotary Club
The kind of bookings my office can do
Show the plant, then talk, answer questions
It's educational, lucrative too
[SEYMOUR]
Mys future's starting, I've got to let it
Stick with that plant and gee
My bank account will thrive
What am I saying? No way! Forget it!
It's much too dangerous to keep the plant alive
I take these offers
That means more k**ing
Who knew success would come with
Messy, nasty strings?
I sign these contracts
That means I'm willing
To keep on doing bloody, awful, evil things!
No! No! There's only so far you can bend
No! No! This nightmare must come to an end
No! No! You've got no alternative
Seymour old boy
Though it means you'll be broke again and unemployed
It's the only solution, It can't be avoided-
The vegetable must be destroyed!
But then there's Audrey, lovely Audrey
If life were tawdry and impoverished as before
She might not like me, she might not want me
Without my plant, she might not love me anymore
[Girls]
They say the meek shall inherit
You know the book doesn't lie
It's not a question of merit
It's not demand and supply
You'll make a fortune, we swear it
If on this fact you rely
You know the meek are gonna get
What's comin' to 'em
By and by