[CAMPBELL]
I put her on the team, she was green as she could be
I took a lot of heat, no one wanted her but me
All my dreams were coming true, I was captain, it was cool
Then I'm suddenly redist... redis... sent to another school
So Skyler's next in line, but somehow Skyler flunks!
So Kyler should be captain, but Kyler's blowing chunks!
Is this all coincidence, just unrelated incidents that happened to occur
Miraculously making way for her!
Something isn't right here
I don't know what it is
None of this should be happening
But it is, oh, but it is
It's like hearing a ticking sound coming from unmarked packages
[EVA, spoken]
Hang on, I'll be right there
CAMPBELL!
[CAMPBELL, spoken]
Nice hair...
[EVA, spoken]
Thanks! You know you've always been my inspiration!
[CAMPBELL, spoken]
Clearly...
[CAMPBELL]
Something isn't right here, I've got a spidey sense
Too much has been going down, to chalk it up to coincidence!
[EVA, spoken]
What coincidence?
[CAMPBELL, spoken]
That you, a soph*more, suddenly became captain of the squad?
[EVA, spoken]
You think I did all of this on purpose?
I'd never take anything away from you!
[CAMPBELL, spoken]
Steven?
[STEVEN, spoken]
BABY! What are you doing here?
[CAMPBELL]
Something isn't right here
[STEVEN, spoken]
Baby, it's no big
[CAMPBELL]
Something isn't right here
[STEVEN, spoken]
Eva's helping me with trig
[CAMPBELL]
Your alibi's pathetic, I'm here to call your bluff
There's no way you've studied trig yet, there's no way he cares enough
Made the team and you made captain, now you're all up in his stuff!
[EVA, spoken]
Campbell! Campbell, I'm your friend...
[CAMPBELL, spoken]
Steven, I don't think we should see each other for a while
Like, forever while
[STEVEN, spoken]
Baby, what?
[CAMPBELL]
She did it, she did it, she came up with a plan, to take all that she took
My team, my school, my man!
Next, she'll win the lotto
Or crap a four leaf clover, can it just be me who sees how she screwed us over?
[KYLER]
So, it's her fault I got mono, and for Skyler failing too
And she somehow got you transferred, and this whole thing's about you?
[SKYLER]
Yeah, our team's without a captain, and our chances aren't great
But don't blame it on your mini me, she stepped up to the plate!
[KYLER]
She's barely out of diapers!
[SKYLER]
And, yet you're sure it's true!
[SKYLER & KYLER]
She's getting with your man, who we all know worships you!
[SKYLER]
Yeah, I see what's wrong, unless you have more to tell us!
[KYLER]
You're paranoid
[SKYLER]
You're crazy
[SKYLER & KYLER]
Or maybe you're just jealous!