[Narrators]
There was a bounty hunter in the depths of space
And she could easily combine your stupid a** with your face
Her name was Samus Aran and she would destroy Metroids
When she wasn't totally pissed, she was extremely annoyed
She stood up to every challenge no matter how ever demanding
And her courage was amazing and her b**bies were outstanding
[Samus]
WHAT?
[Narrator]
Uh, nothing. I was just saying that you're brave
Um okay, hey look over there. It's Kraid
[Kraid]
I'm the strongest dragon that you've ever seen
You're gonna die motherf**er, I take up five screens
I'm gonna swallow you whole and then you'll go down easy
Then you'll be digested and converted to feces
I'll take off your helmet, see the fear in your eyes
And your beautiful hair and your well toned thighs
And your pillowy lips and wait you're not a guy
[Samus]
Is that a problem you f**
[Kraid]
Um no, prepare to die
[Narrator]
Kraid was hesitating, but Samus was set to fight
She got into a battle stance, that made her bu*t look super tight
And Kraid said
[Kraid]
No wait, I think there has been a gigantic mistake
I actually just wanted to give you some desserts, that I baked
[Narrator]
But Samus said
[Samus]
What pisses me off most in this world
Is when enemies get nice when they all find out I'm a girl
So do me a favor and take your cakes and your pies
And shove them so far up your a**, that they end up behind your eyes
Stop treating me like I'm a s** object
Mother Brain's a woman, but she gets respect
[Mother Brain]
Yeah Kraid, you never talk to me that way
[Kraid]
Oh gosh, I wonder if it is because you are a huge disgusting brain
[Samus]
Get the f** off my planet, this is your last chance
[Kraid]
I'm gonna go ahead and slide out of my pants
[Samus]
That's it, you're all f**ing dead
[Kraid]
What, this room feels stuffy
By the way do you like puppies
Here's a basket of puppies
[Samus]
Whoops, k**ed the puppies