'Good evening young lovers of fine music. It's a f**ing beautiful pleasure to be here in the lovely bell room of the a**embly rooms, f**ing great pleasure. We're the Doug Anthony Allstars, my name is Tim. I guess I'm the Kylie Minogue of the Doug Anthony Allstars because my little sister is a fat ugly mole. You've met my sister. And now presenting for you gelictation the little hard bat, the little Mr. Richy Fidler. Give him ago, give him a go!'
'Hi my names Richard, and since this is our last big retrospective show here at the a**embly rooms I'd like to do this song that has meant more to me than anything else over the years.'
'leave him alone ok, f**ing leave him alone!'
'don't you pick on Richard, remember people he's one of you!'
'now this evening we will be performing our last, forth compendium show of our career. Of course on Wednesday night we did 1955 to '65 when the Allstars were first formed. And then of course we moved from '65 to '75, the high of the years when the Doug Anthony Allstars seemed to just cruise throughout the worlds media taking over political party after political party and becoming the most famous act on the planet. Then of course last night was the dark years…'75 to '85. The band really seemed to hit rock bottom. They turned to d**, s** and midnight television, and finally, finally split up. They were replaced however by three young happy go lucky guys, one of whom left and was replaced by a guitarist with no mind. This evening we present the last ten years of the Doug Anthony Allstars, perhaps the most spectacular and fun-like era. This evening of course we must say that the change that happened in the group was a very important one. We all felt so lost, but I think its important to point out, without sounding naf or anything or giving any bullsh** or shoving it down your throats that, religion is now very important to us and its not our business to shove it down your throats, but that's just how we feel, so that's great.'