I was a cheater and a liar And i didn't get by On my words alone I knew how to talk to people And get what I want I'm a dog So why don't you throw me a bone But that was so long ago It won't happen again I got a hole in my pocket Shotgun in my hand And I'm chasing a fiend I got a warm and fuzzy feeling Deep inside of my brain Oh I think you know what I mean
But that was so long ago It doesn't happen anymore Don't like the riches Or the snoodies I think they're all rude and you know I don't care for fools I was a smoker and a drinker And a fantastic thinker But I'd still take a piss in your Gold plated kidney shaped pool But you know That won't happen anymore Because I'm dead