[Verse 1]
Well
Why are video games so bloody violent?
Mindless?
Man, it's time to rewind
To a time where the action was colorful and innocent
Moms and Dads didn't have to be diligent
Didn't have to panic for the kids becoming militant
Mario's back and it's brilliant!
I'm a wholesome character that is suitable for children
A real role model when I'm leaping off a building
Come on kids; follow me, follow me
One, two, three; jump off and weeeeee!
Dash through traffic shouting "tally ho"
Can you run down the road as fast as Mario?
I'ma show you pipes; a variety of types
Hash pipes, crack pipes; pa** me a light
I'm jacked up on mushrooms, listening to Rush tunes
Puff, puff, pa** me the carrot
Motherf** you
[Hook]
f**. Yeah
(Oh no Mario!)
f**. Yeah
(Oh no Mario!)
(f**ing listen)
[Verse 2]
Roll up to the club and I jump on the table
Engage in R-rated behavior that's shameful
f** the haters straight up mate
You can jump on a turtle, and make it painful
I'm only saving Princess Peach
To get a piece and pinch her peaches
(Preach!)
I'm going to break that bum when I get her home
But I've got the shakes man, I'm coming off the methadone
So I scoff another plate full of Goombas
Make her s** me off on the rug like a roomba
Ooh-rah
Rebel rabble rouser
That'll yank down Bowser's trousers
And I sell d**, plumbing is a front
I'm addressing every woman as a c*nt
Roughing up a punk while I'm puffing on a blunt
Duppy motherf**ers and I stuff them in the trunk
[Hook]
f** finishers in Mortal Kombat
(Oh no Mario!)
Mario's already been there, done that
(Oh no Mario!)
f** Carmageddon and f** Manhunt
(Oh no Mario!)
Mario's worse, he's a god damn c*nt
(Oh no Mario!)
[Verse 3]
Spin my hat front to back then back to front
I bet you can't do that, you c*nt
I'm a little f**ing fat f**ing plumber
f**ing taking on f**ing any f**ing comer
I'm a
Loose cannon on the loose
With an appetite for animal abuse
Don't like Jews, I don't like you
Don't like anybody, hang them from a noose
Enacting atrocities, cruelty of all kinds
Bloodbaths, ma**acres, slaughter, and war crimes
Napalming your jungle leaves
When I'm shaking the junk in my dungarees
But you won't get a crumb from me
Because I'm from the streets of New Donk City
Out the barrio and I'm heading for Hell
It's a me Mario beheading infidels
[Hook]
f** Saints Row, f** Grand Theft Auto
(Oh no Mario!)
Mario's going to come and cut your throat
(Oh no Mario!)
f** Doom, f** Hatred
(Oh no Mario!)
Mario's raping all that is sacred
(Oh no Mario!)
(Nintendo; Fun for all the family)