(Ah) My name's Deckard Cain, reincarnate
I'm the author of the lore for this dark place
I understand you're a guy on a mission
But if you could just give a min, stay a while and listen
Because again the land of Sanctuary's f**ed
By the forces of darkness, Thank you very much
And I suppose I'm responsible for dealing with this
Demon epidemiological chronicle of a diabolical oracle, it's horrible
When your chance of living is thinner than a hair follicle
Smaller than a molecule.. Hell is more than metaphorical
It's down under the town in the cracks, underground like my raps
Now let me tell you the facts
You'll need these to get yourself through the acts
So ensure your ears are clear and sound gets through the wax
I come in one of five flavours at once:
If you need speed then you'll favour the Monk
The Wizard is a mage, the Demon Hunter's ranged
The Barbarian is in a rage at the front
The Witch Doctor is the main name for shamanism
Today's the day you make the fate-changing decision
Make haste into the prison of the Dark Lords
Who start wars with us, they'll see we're hardcore
If you're struggling with Azmodan, just
Tap my number in and ask for Dan, cause
In that conundrum I am the man
To leave a demon heaving, gasping
Like it's asthma, damn, cuz
I got the master plan
I GOT THE MASTER PLAN
I take my scrap to be crafted by an Artisan
The improvement of loot is essential
With the exception of my weapon - the pencil
Tearing apart skeletal archers like parchment
Giving your heart a myocardial infarction
You'll beg my pardon if I look like an old gnome
But I've written whole tomes on the Soulstones
So lyrically I'm lethal, all I need is beats
And my speech to defeat the Prime Evil
We will succeed cause I'm a wizard
And I run this game like Blizzard (huh-ha)
[Evil Laughter]