Dear Lily Allen
Remember when you pretended, Lily
That you were truly independent, Lily?
Faking like you made it all alone but you were
Legally with Regal, part of Parlophone - oh yes
So when you lectured me, I thought I'd
Fileshare my thoughts on your mp3, Lily
Now first I must sing your praises - I love your singing but I'll just say this:
I saw on your MySpace pages saying filesharing's a new ice age, but the
Industry's a recent innovation - music's been alive, thriving since cavemen. Folk songs so long have had a place in communities that you should be amazed at it
Then one day came intellectual property, meaning if I think a thought, you can't copy me
And if honesty's the best policy, I'd say songs are better off without this monopoly
It'd blatantly be a major fail if they'd patented the major scale
And downloads don't equate to sales, so taking them away won't make me pay up -
Just procludes me from sending your tunes to my friends, so we all lose in the end
You lose potential fans and we lose respect for the fact that you're desperate for cash
But what do you expect from the la** who's collecting a fat bank cheque from the man
While her fans are collecting the gla**es for minimum wage they'll spend on her tracks?
[Hook (x2)]
Dear Lily, why are you being this silly? Yours sincerely, Dan Bull. Dear Lily, why are you being this silly? Yours sincerely, Dan Bull
Now please don't be offended, Lily;
I think your new CD's splendid, Lily
Everybody's at It and it's Not Fair
I Could Say, The Fear was Him but He wasn't There so
Let's go Back to the Start, before 22 -
All music's in the public domain, so f** You
It's never the amateurs that's reckon it's damaging us, it's the major labels
Saying it's fatal; like when Napster had to pack up, wrecked by Metallica
The table's turned now - the labels churn out a
New Jezebelinternetelevangelist - and she's fit -
With a man*script that was actually written by Mr. Michael Masnick
Can you get the irony? And by the by, Lily
I like this beat - I hope you don't mind me thieving
Cause even doing a cover song's decried as stealing
But it's alright, still, for you to plagiarise, and preach it -
Don't you believe it's maybe time to rethink, Lily?
Put music back in the hands of the people; make the majors and amateurs equal
If anything labels strangle the freedom you claim they're saving by banning this evil
That's the actual reason, you see; and please don't compare sharing to stealing -
I've not took anything off you, I'm just spreading love for what you do
Downloaded your songs for free, then I bought my mom your CD
She likes it too, she keeps telling me, all because I pirated an mp3
Now I've got Matt Bellamy belling me, telling me I'm not a fan, I'm the enemy
That's amusing, I've paid enough to see Muse in my time I could buy them a museum
Did you see them on that programme miming? Yeah, the pirates are k**ing live gigs
Maybe we should have a ban CDs appeal - then people would pay to see bands for real
[Hook (x4)]
P.S. - And I don't mean any offence or anything, Lily. I just don't think the issue's as clear cut as you're making out. And I know you're going to carry on making music really. But when you're between the devil and the deep blue sea, you need to stop worrying about pirates, and adjust your sails