CHORUS: GRANDPA GOT RUN OVER BY A BEER TRUCK COMING OUT OF WOODY'S CHRISTMAS DAY GRANDMA GOT A JOB OUT AT THE BREWERY I NEVER KNEW THAT SHE COULD DRIVE THAT WAY 1. GRANDPA WAS OUT DRINKING WITH THE FLOOZIES SPENDING ALL OF GRANDMA'S HARD EARNED DOUGH HE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TO PAY THE BAR TAB SO WOODY TOSSED HIM OUT INTO THE SNOW 2. GRANDPA STOOD THERE FROZEN IN THE HEAD LIGHTS HE LOOKED JUST AS HELPLESS AS A DEER I DON'T THINK HE WAS AFRAID OF DYING
I THINK HE WAS AFRAID HE'D SPILL HIS BEER (REPEAT CHORUS) 3. WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT HE'D END UP AS A ROAD KILL SHE FLATTENED HIM RIGHT OUT ON THE CENTER LINE HE COULD HAVE MADE IT TO THE CURB IF HE WERE QUICKER BUT SHE BACKED IT UP AND SQUASHED HIM ONE MORE TIME 4. GRANDMA CRIED AND CRIED AT GRANDMA'S FUNERAL NOT BECAUSE WE PEELED HIM OFF THE ROAD ALL THE LOOT SHE GOT FROM HIS INSURANCE WENT TO PAY THE BAR TAB THAT HE OWED (REPEAT CHORUS)