Amsterdam
Kinkiest quality: Live s** shows
Hashish and hotties. Amsterdam is a gorgeous city with awesome can*ls, bikes and architecture, but everyone knows what Amsterdam is most famous for: women and weed.
Prostitution has been legal since 2000 and there are over 7,000 people working in the s** trade. The city also has a prostitution museum that provides a glimpse into the world of the s** worker.
The Sex Museum and the Erotic Museum also give visitors a look at how kinky Amsterdam really is. Wherever you go in the Sex Museum, you'll hear the sounds of orgasmic pleasure or light s**ual moaning. Each one of the rooms is named after some sort of s**ual icon like the Marquis De Sade or Mata Hari. The Erotic Museum has an entire floor dedicated to the art of sadomaschism.
If watching is your thing, there's erotic shows at places like Café Rosso or you can have s** in public in Amsterdam's Vondelpark.
Tokyo
Kinkiest quality: Soiled panties in vending machines
Tokyo is a steamy city full of fetish-fueled denizens who have nowhere private to get their rocks off. This physical repression inspires a whole entire city of people to knock their couture boots at places such as Tokyo's love hotels, which you can rent for the hour or the night. You can order costumes for your room or chill in the dungeons. There's even a district for Tokyo's love hotels appropriately called Love Hotel Hill in Shibuya.
There are p**n stores everywhere, including a seven-story one called M's in Akihabara that includes Japan's finest s** video export: anime. There's an extreme trade in women's dirty underwear (or burusera) in vending machines, a huge cosplay community, and hostess bars in Tokyo's red light district, Kabukicho. Why is Tokyo considered the fetish capital of the world? The truth is, living in Tokyo is so expensive that many young people have to balance out their place in the city with seedy second jobs like selling soiled panties or getting hai daisuki, which is basically like a kinky dental exam. Sex and clean teeth? Make me an appointment right now.
Berlin
Kinkiest quality: Kinky cabarets
"Sex (I'm A)" by the band Berlin lists all the different roles of s**uality, just like the city itself. Berlin has consistently been a go-to spot for breaking and bending s**ual roles for experimental hedonists. It's not called the "World's Biggest Brothel" for nothing. With legalized prostitution since 2002, the city became a hot bed (literally) for brothels, happy-ending ma**age parlors, and kinky cabaret, like at the infamous KitKatClub. Patrons are allowed to have s** in the open. Kinky fetish wear, like latex and leather, is required for entry. All puns intended.
The s** paradise has no actual red light district because crazy, kinky paid-for s** is offered in all corners of the city from all types of prostitutes including street-walkers and high-end escorts. Apparently, almost one million men pay for prostitution in Berlin every year. In a disgusting twist on this omnipresent kink factor, bestiality was actually legal in Germany until 2013, and "bestiality brothels" were opened in Berlin for those so inclined. Events like the German Fetish Ball and places like the KitKatClub offer a wide range of fun. Even former Berlin mayor, Klaus Wowereit, endorsed a fetish party, saying: "Berlin is a tolerant and open metropolis. We are proud that people from different backgrounds and with different preferences feel comfortable here and party together." You got that right. Even the government in Berlin wants you to get laid. And we make love together.
Bangkok
Kinkiest quality: Fluid genders
Bad puns aside, Bangkok is one of the seediest places in the world, and by extension one of the kinkiest. Bangkok is the number one destination for a s** vacation. There's fetish bars and clubs like Black Pagoda, a dark bar where fishnets and kitty whips are practically a requirement. There's also Demonia, which asks you to "rekink" your lifestyle with a mistress, sub, or anything in between.
If you're looking to explore your kinky side in private, prostitutes are plentiful and they run as cheap as $30. The city has eleven million people living in the city—10,000 of them are prostitutes. In the various Red Light Districts, you'll find ma**age parlors and "soapies," ping pong shows (that include ping pong balls and more), Go Go bars, and brothels.
If having s** with a girl (or even a boy) isn't your thing, Bangkok prides itself on having three genders (or more!) for you to choose from, including the super-s**y Thai ladyboys. It's important to be aware that there is a rampant s** trade in Bangkok that includes underage s** workers and an increased risk of contracting HIV. Play safe and play fair. Mutual enjoyment is one of the main rules of living a truly kinky lifestyle.
Rio De Janeiro
Kinkiest quality: The big booty Brazilian girls
Known for its beaches, babes, and booties, Brazil is one of the kinkiest cities in the world because it possesses raw and primal s** appeal. Extreme s** is all over the place in Rio, as highlighted by this documentary called Algolagnia. Playing out your fantasies is easy at s** clubs and kink palaces like Cafe Millennium that has a swimming pool, fitness center, and hair dresser, plus a dancefloor full of women willing to take you on for the night.
It helps that Brazil puts on Carnival every year, an epic parade that both men and woman can attend, but many men flock from different countries to see the dancing and the rhinestone covered titties. One Brazilian couple was caught last year having balls-out (literally) "s** on the beach" while hundreds of people were watching. If you don't have the patience to make a girl swoon with your American accent, just hit up Villa Mimosa for dinner, dancing, and perving out. Just about any dance club will get you set for the night.
Singapore
Kinkiest quality: The Four Floors of who*es
Singapore is known for its dramatic urban landscape surrounded by snow-white sand beaches and tropical green. It's also known for the Orchard Towers, or the "Four Floors of who*es," a building that has an "entertainment complex" where men can come and pick up prostitutes in a more casual manner than through the brothels. The brothels are pretty common, as are ma**age parlors and regular old street walking. Weirdly, an alien-human s** scene from a Microsoft video game, Playboy Magazine, a lesbian s** scene in a video game and oral s** have all been outlawed in Singapore. But this repression has led to a very active adult industry, one that is bubbling under the surface in the most spectacularly perverse ways like swinger's clubs and escorts listed in the phone book.
Portland
Kinkiest quality: Sex changes covered by insurance
Dubbed "p**nland" because of the insane number of strip clubs that show up on almost every street in the Pacific Northwest city, Portland has a huge swinger community, drive-in s** boxes that are only $5.30 per pervy view, and for BDSM lovers. There's Portland's leather scene smack down like Bad Girls for BDSM-loving lesbians and Dirty Playground for everyone in the queer kink community. For those looking for a true beating, Portland has a 3,500-square-foot dungeon appropriately called The Sindicate that includes Japanese rope bondage and more.
Other than the secret s** work going on over seitan buffalo wings at vegan strip clubs like Casa Diablo, Portland also has an extremely liberal philosophy towards gender and s** roles. In 2011, Portland City insurance widened the cities policy to include s** changes. According to a Forbes study, Portlanders use 227 contraceptives per capita, making it the second most lustful city in America.
Pattaya
Kinkiest quality: Fetish bars
One of Thailand's first beach resorts in the '60s, gorgeous Pattaya has swiftly become even more scandalous than Bangkok in terms of the commercial s** trade and erotic tourism. Much like Bangkok, but with more options and more reasonable prices, someone interested in a Pattaya girl can spend upwards of $66 on a Go-Go Girl on Walking Street, $70 on a Soapie ma**age, or $33 for a freelancer at a beer bar.
Prostitution is illegal in Thailand, but the Pattaya police don't really care about what's going on despite the fact that they do make arrests once a month. Prostitution is the city's greatest money maker.
True kinksters can take advantage of this seedy underworld by going to Pattaya for some next-level consensual kink. Secret Motions Fetish Bar on the outskirts of Pattaya offers all sorts of mistresses, slaves, and switches a BDSM-loving tourist might desire. There's a voyeur room, a hospital room, and military fantasy room. There's also Bar Bar and The Castle—which extends its services to those with small festishes, like toe-licking or being fed with a bottle like a baby.
Copenhagen
Kinkiest quality: International s** festival.
In Copenhagen, prostitution is legal, and once a year a festival called Kinky Copenhagen comes to town with strippers galore and crazy sights that will creep out even the most modern kinkster. If whips, chains, and body-mod is your thing, Kinky Copenhagen brings out the best in the field; you shouldn't trust your King Albert pierecing to anyone else.
Kinky Salon also takes place in Copenhagen allowing you to score a girl through modern means like the Internet. The Salon is dubbed an "arty, playful, fun, s** positive costume party" and basically attracts people wanting to have s** with other uber-kinky people.
Strip clubs in Copenhagen allow self-stimulation if you get a lap dance in a private booth. Sex clubs and private s** parties are also still pretty huge.
San Francisco
Kinkiest quality: High-tech s**.
The Armory in San Francisco is the headquarters of Kink.com. Its 200,000 square foot space, filled with erotic arts, is opened for tours. San Francisco also hosts the annual Folsom Street Fair, which honors and celebrates the BDSM community and lovely, leather-clad freaks during "Leather Pride Week." The robust leather-wearing subculture in San Francisco started in 1938 at the Sailor Boy Tavern and gradually Folsom Street became the epicenter of leather-play during the '60s. Tree hugging, animal-loving hippies be damned. Rough kink was a boon in the Bay Area even when "violence" was considered abhorrent.
Despite being ranked the fifth most promiscuous city in the United States (based on casual s**), San Francisco is considered to be the Sex Education Capital of the world. It's the home of bondage experts like Midori and the tech s**er Violet Blue. Sex workers are also treated with respect in San Francisco: there's the San Francisco Sex Worker Film and Arts Festival, which includes a "who*e's Bath" glamathon.
According to a study (science never lies, duh), San Francisco is a "city of s*uts." It reportedly averages thirty partners per person.