I was a white cat once, but when I roll around I get all gray and brown
And it does not make sense to waste a busy day licking the dirt away
And I have staff for that, sent here to serve the cat
I let my fur get gray and then I dock their pay
It's a brand new mornin' as I stretch and arise
Amble over to the table, little nibble on the kibble
Shred a little sofa as I open my eyes
Yes I got ratted, matted messed up hair
This verbal fur ball does not care
I want to be the lord of the fleas
I saunter and I do what I please
So if you need to see the key to be ungroomed
You just stay tuned to this Maine Coon
I was in the garden, takin' the sun
Checkin' out the bugs, musta rolled on one
So I got this slug bug stuck to my fur real good
But I didn't really mind, just a little bit o' slime
I'd find it later, you know, scratchin' my back
Be glad I saved it, make a nice little snack
I went inside, I swear the staff went insane
Runnin' with the comb and scissors, screamin' my name
But I can give 'em the quick slip I don't make a sound
I get onto their outfits and roll all around
My fur looks bad to me all gray and askew
I think my staff should be displayin' it too
And they got this two bit sand pit they want me to use
Sometimes I don't mind, sometimes I refuse
Hey I am me, I'm free, independence rocks
This ain't no new craze to find ways to think outside the box
I'm really messy hey hey I like to be
And they're so testy all day at the sight o' me
Just as all work and no play wasn't meant to be
They sacrifice to feng-shui their joi de vive
I was a white cat, I was a white cat
I was a white cat once