[Chamillionaire - playing as an internet blogger nerd]
[typing keyboard]
Logging on to AllHipHop right now and uh..
What is this? Chamillionaire?
Not him again..
[Loud sigh] I can't stand him!
He's probably name-droppin artists 'cause he knows his album bout to drop
You know he's gonna start tryin to diss because he knows he's gonna flop
Eff Chamillionaire! That Carter album is what I'm tryna cop
Chamillionaire thinks he's too smart, and plus I think he sings a lot
See, he is not, nowhere as good as they say he is, I hate that kid!
And if he is, how come his last one didn't do as much as this?
anyways, you gotta act hard to make it in this music biz
And only people who like him is just little white suburban kids
Cause he ain't in the streets, he ain't cookin soft, or sellin bricks
He can't handle beef, he don't know what a two-time felon is
All he talk about is chips, he gotta make a song that's for the chicks
That track with Slick - does he think that I could bust a move to this?!
H-A-H-A LOL, I SWEAR that boy'll never sell
And I just hope he goes to jail, get beat up, stabbed and goes to hell
I KNOW he will! I KNOW he will! 'Cause he don't ever show me sk**
I hope they drop him from his deal, that balla rap is overk**
He don't rap the way he used to rap, he rappin 'bout some stupid crap
He be rappin without saying *ISH* and I'm not really used to that
He don't rap 'bout sippin syrup, he don't rep that Houston rap
If I EVER saw him in person, he'd be the rapper that I re-FUSE to dap
Anyway, I heard a rumor; he ain't beefin, what a lame!
He didn't even diss 50 back when 50 Cent called out his name
I asked some girls about him and they told me that they felt the same
So many stans on the internet on his dick and it's an eff'in shame
I'm loggin on to HipHopDX, like, "Who the heck created this?!"
Chamillionaire?! NEGATIVE ONE is what I'm gon' be ratin this
He's not the best, I hate this kid, he couldn't even make my list
If ANYONE says that this is dope, I SWEAR I'll probably take my fist
and punch a hole in this computer, tell the fans to get it straight
Cause last time he dropped a hit was nineteen-ninety-NEVER-eight
That's the reason why I hate on EVERYONE that says he's great
And PLUS he sounds so monotone, his style doesn't ever ELEVATE
I logged on SOH-H just to investigate
I see he tryna drop a mixtape August 27th, WAIT!
Does he think I'ma purchase this? I'd NEVER ever get his tape
Anyways, everytime he does, the CD comes out HELLA late
And plus The Game is droppin then, he shoulda picked a better date
and Texas, they fell off the map, he should be reppin a better state
RZA, GZA, Little Brother, and The Cool Kids way better than him
and he's not even the best from Texas, he's not even better than Slim
I logged on his MySpace page, his song didn't have that many plays
[in whiny voice] 'cause I know that NO ONE cares 'bout ANYTHING he has to say
(Time for supper! [knocks on door])
Huh, what? (What are you doing in there?)
'ey, come on, mom! (Are you jacking off again?)
Close the door! Get out the way!
(Stop it, come eat your broccoli!) NO! NO!
Get out my face please, can't you see I'm on the net?!
(I told you, stay off of those p**no sites)
Geez, I'll be out there in a minute, you just need to let me breathe!
(And it's time to take your medication)
STOP IT, MOM! LEAVE! (Come on!)
LEAAAVE, MOM! LEAAAAVE!!
(Stop it boy, I pay the bills in this house!)
[in a pitiful and sobbing tone]
AHHHHH!! I hate my life! I hate my life! I hate that his life ain't my life!
I'm only seventeen, and all I do is sit all day and type!
I cain't believe that Jennifer had the nerve to say I ain't her type!
I hate the smell of broccoli, my mom cain't even make it right!
I give my opinion on blog sites, opinion hate, and say who's nice
'cause I'm too broke to buy CDs, I download 'em and play 'em twice!
I HATE my dad! He disappeared and didn't ever say good night!
I HATE my parents! Hate the world! I'll make sure they all pay the price!!
I WONDER WHAT THE WORLD WILL SAY IF THEY COULD WATCH ME TAKE MY LIFE
I WONDER WHAT THE WORLD WILL SAY IF THEY COULD WATCH ME TAKE MY.. - [gunshot]
{"You got mail!"}