By Michael Brown Oh, we're meetin' at the courthouse at eight o'clock tonight You just walk in the door and take the first turn to the right Be careful when you get there, we hate to be bereft But we're taking down the names of everybody turning left Oh, we're the John Birch Society, the John Birch Society Here to save our country from a communistic plot Join the John Birch Society, help us fill the ranks To get this movement started we need lots of tools and cranks Now there's no one that we're certain the Kremlin doesn't touch We think that Westbrook Pegler doth protest a bit too much We only hail the hero from whom we got our name We're not sure what he did but he's our hero just the same Oh, we're the John Birch Society, the John Birch Society Socialism is the ism dismalest of all Join the John Birch Society, there's so much to do Have you heard they're serving vodka at the WCTU? Well you've heard about the agents that we've already named Well MPA has agents that are flauntedly unashamed We're after Rosie Clooney, we've gotten Pinkie Lee And the day we get Red Skelton won't that be a victory Oh we're the John Birch Society, the John Birch Society
Norman Vincent Peale may think he's kidding us along But the John Birch Society knows he spilled the beans He keeps on preaching brotherhood, but we know what he means We'll teach you how to spot 'em in the cities or the sticks For even Jasper Junction is just full of Bolsheviks The CIA's subversive and so's the FCC There's no one left but thee and we, and we're not sure of thee Oh, we're the John Birch Society, the John Birch Society Here to save our country from a communistic plot Join the John Birch Society holding off the Reds We'll use our hand and hearts and if we must we'll use our heads Do you want Justice Warren for your Commissar? Do you want Mrs. Krushchev in there with the DAR? You cannot trust your neighbor or even next of kin If mommie is a commie then you gotta turn her in Oh, we're the John Birch Society, the John Birch Society Fighting for the right to fight the right fight for the Right Join the John Birch Society as we're marching on And we'll all be glad to see you when we're meeting in the John The John, the John Birch So- ci- I- teee