[Intro 1: Taye Diggs]
Ladies and gentleman, Miss Velma Kelly in an act of desperation
[Intro 2: Catherine Zeta-Jones]
My sister and I had an act that couldn't flop
My sister and I were headed straight for the top
My sister and I earned a... thou' a week at least...oh, yeah
But my sister is now unfortunately deceased
I know it's sad, of course, but a fact is still a fact
And now all that remains is the remains of a perfect... double... act!
[Spoken: Catherine Zeta-Jones]
Watch this!
Now, you have to imagine it with two people
It's swell with two people
[Verse 1: Catherine Zeta-Jones]
First I'd...
Then she'd...
Then we'd...
But I can't do it alone
Then she'd...
Then I'd...
Then we'd...
But I can't do it alone
[Bridge: Catherine Zeta-Jones]
She'd say "what's your sister like?"
I'd say "men"
She'd say "you're the cat's meow"
Then we'd wow the crowd again
[Verse 2: Catherine Zeta-Jones]
When she'd go...
I'd go...
We'd go...
Then those ding-dong daddies started to roar
Whistled, stomped, stamped on the floor
Yelling, screamin', beggin' for more
[Spoken: Catherine Zeta-Jones]
And we'd say "ok fellas, keep your socks up
Cause you ain't seen nothin' yet"
[Refrain: Catherine Zeta-Jones]
But I simply cannot do it alone
[Spoken: Catherine Zeta-Jones]
So what'd you think, huh?
Come on, you can say
I know, you're right, the first part is sh**
But the second part—the second part is really nifty
Ok
[Verse 3: Catherine Zeta-Jones]
She'd go...
I'd go...
We'd go...
And then those two-bit Johnnys did it up brown
To cheer the best attraction in town
They nearly tore the balcony down
[Spoken: Catherine Zeta-Jones]
And we'd say "ok boys, we're goin' home
But before we go, here's a few more partin' shots"
And this—this we did in perfect unison
[Outro: Catherine Zeta-Jones]
Now you see me going through it
You make think there's nothing to it
But I simply cannot do it alone