Exercise 3
“So, tell me a little bit about yourself.”
Sound interesting!!! the first voice in her head screamed. She couldn't sound interesting even if she tried, the deeper voice echoed through her mind. Make something up. Say you're a bank robber, said the voice named Mollie. Mollie was a backstabbing b**h, though, so Shiloh wasn't sure if that was actually a good idea of not. Oh, stop being a p**y, Mollie said in her pa**ive-aggressive tone. It'd only been a second and a half since the question had been asked.
“I'm a bank robber,” Shiloh blurted. “Is that right?” Dr. Morgan asked. Her face showed no sign of alarm, nor disbelief. It was as though Dr. Morgan was emotionless. What would that be like? BORING, the first voice said. You'd be nothing without us. Emotionless. You wouldn't even be a person. You need us. You need-
“Shiloh, did you hear my question?” Dr. Morgan asked. “No, I'm sorry,” Shiloh replied sheepishly. “It's okay, Shiloh. I asked which bank you robbed.”
PANIC, the deep voice yelled, she caught you in the lie; get out, run. Mollie started screaming. She did that sometimes. It made it hard to hear everything else going on inside Shiloh's head, also the things outside of it. Shiloh covered her ears and looked down at the rough carpet of Dr. Morgan's office. Sometimes covering her ears helped. Shiloh looked up. There were certificates on the wall in black frames and a notepad on Dr. Morgan's lap and a drawing of a sailboat on the wall. Shiloh recognized the picture. Shiloh had drawn the picture.
The first voice pierced through Mollie's screaming, She stole that picture from you. Do something about it!
Shiloh's hands came down from her ears and became tight fists that rested against her thighs. Her face clouded over. She hated Dr. Morgan. Dr. Morgan was a thief.
“You stole my picture,” Shiloh sneered. “Actually,” Dr. Morgan said, looking taken aback, “You gave that to me, Shiloh. A couple weeks ago, you and I both drew pictures of our favorite places, do you remember? You gave me permission to hang your drawing up on the wall.”
Now Shiloh was taken aback. This was new information to her. Wasn't it?
Idiot, the deep voice echoed. The sound reverberated straight into her brain stem; it reverberated straight into her spine. Shiloh stiffened, then fell back limply from the edge of her chair to the seatback. She felt defeated.
“Shiloh, tell me what you did this week.”
Ugh, can't this lady get her own life? Mollie said. The first voice cut her off before she could continue, Oh, oh! Sound interesting!!! Tell her you went skydiving!
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
I know this is an unorthodox way of doing this exercise, so I wanted to make these things clear: the “crowded place” is the mind of a schizophrenic girl named Shiloh. The conversation being interrupted is between Shiloh and her psychiatrist, Dr. Morgan.