Well, now this here story is about a fellow what was running for President, maybe you've heard of him. He used to be a senator from Tennessee, then he moved off to Beverly. Hills, that is. You know, swimming pools, movie stars…
Come on and listen to my story about a guy named Fred
A Hollywood star who chose politics instead
Then one day he was acting on TV, and he thought
President, that's a better role for me
U.S., that is. Leader of the free world. Brings Law and Order to us all. Solves every problem in just one hour.
Well, the next thing you know, Fred quits his TV role
But folks said, Fred, you look older than Bob Dole
He went on Jay Leno to announce that he would run
Well, I've seen folks look better when their autopsy was done
I mean, when you talk about film roles, that one was more like Tales from the Crypt. So Fred went on the offensive. He pulled out all the stops. He asked, what other presidential candidates had their own TV shows? Well, I'll tell you. Bill Richardson, of course, he was the star of America's Least Wanted. There was that senator from Connecticut, SpongeDodd No Chance. Dennis Kucinich had his own show, Are You Smaller Than a Fifth Grader? And Hillary, now Hillary…
Some think Mrs. Clinton is the strongest nominee
‘Cause recently she landed something down at ABC
Fred dropped out ‘cause he knew he couldn't win to save his life
‘Cause Law and Order is no match for, a Desperate Housewife