Gandhi's autobiography is on my pillow
I put it there every morning after making my bed
So that I'll remember to read it before falling asleep
I've been reading it for six years
I'm on chapter two
Gary Necci gave me a book when he left my house one time
I don't remember the name of it exactly
But I think it was called something like,
"Kid, you are seriously co-dependent."
He thought I might want to flip through
and learn about that
I feel like it's more important to finish
Gandhi's autobiography first
I keep forgetting to put, "focus" on my to-do list.
I keep forgetting to wander and have fun
I know I'm transparent
but my insecurities are in all the right places
So, go ahead
Have a look
When I was a child
I would chase my babysitter around the house
Viscerally sounding out the end of the letter L
llllLLLLLLLLLLL ...LLLL
Have another look
When will we own ourselves completely?
Tell me what it is you want me to own
And I will take it
Damaged goods? You bet.
Hit or miss?
No doubt about it
Misses important social cues?
Yes I do.
I'm dirty underneath the light
Pale on the backside of my bright
And feel a little bit stupid about learning a language
When I see God
Cause that guy...so fast
My best friend can speak six languages
I still get excited that English took hold
Sometimes I don't feel like I'm doing my part on this planet
I talk too much
If you see me being quiet, don't ask me what's wrong
I'm just practicing
I often wonder if anyone died because of the pencil
I handed to a prisoner at San Quentin State Penitentiary
He stuck it in his pocket
The point is...
The point is there are things wrong with us
There are things wrong with me
But I do have the ability to split epiphanies
with my face on demand
Hold me like a birthmark, awkward if you have to
I wander, so if you lose me, don't worry
After the big tsunami
The only structure still standing in the wiped-out village of Malacca
Was a statue of Mahatma Gandhi
I want to be able to stand like that
Even after getting gargled and spanked and spit out by God
I want to know that I don't have to fall
Every time the sky opens up like a coin return
to change me just so little lines on maps
can draw circles around my blood
To show the scars here in the shape of Gandhi
On my pillow
To show that I've been here before
And tonight is not the last time I'll see the light.