I am Doctor Mario and I am saving lives I look different in this game, (I lost the hat, got a coat, doctor light, stethoscope) I am Doctor Mario and I prescribe high fives Laughter's the best medicine, so bah-hah-hah that'll be twenty bucks In the Mushroom Kingdom, I'm the finest doc by far (What?! Liar! Boo.) I got my degree by watching House and Scrubs and E.R. Brightly colored pills! (Pills) They'll cure all your ills! (Ills) Just as long as you've got fever or the chills (Cold) I'll check your lungs Breathe naturally You sound real bad (Wheeze, wheeze, wheeze) Oh, wait that's-a-me... How embarra**ing Does it hurt right here?
No Does it hurt right there? No Mr. Floss I think you've got receding hair. Uhh... You've got mononucleosis, halitosis, scoliosis Fifteen days is my prognosis You need red and blue pill doses! You've got scabies and phlebitis, chronic rabies, hepatitis, You'll be brave and you'll unite us, but you might catch meningitis Wait wait I'm wrong You have...the plague? The plague? Don't touch me! Brightly colored pills! (Pills) They'll cure all your ills! (Ills) Just as long as you've got fever or the chills! Take it Floss! I'm playin' the piano and I'm playin' really good ah-na-na Dr. Mario!