MORAL KOMBAT! In the near future, courts of law go super fast There's no jury, just a judge Gotta win in three days max My name is Phoenix Wright, and I'm an ace attorney So grab a seat, groove to the beat, and join me on my journey I live in California, and by that I mean Japan Got a suit of blue, a big red tie and hair like Gemini Man It's a comedy of errors with the violence of Macbeth So cute and charming (MURDER!) Zany, wacky, jokey (DEATH!) Yeah, I meet all kinds of weirdos on my justice-seeking quest, The dudes are total dicks, and the ladies have big breasts! Come on, y'all! DICKS! b**bIES! DICKS! b**bIES! DICKS! b**bIES! b**bIES! DICKS! DICKS! b**bIES! DICKS! b**bIES! DICKS! b**bIES! b**bIES! DICKS! Uhh... b**bies? I'm rated T for teen and even one time rated M
But I've got pop culture chops, and each reference is a gem If you have a big *OBJECTION* to where I'm coming from, You can *TAKE THAT*, *HOLD IT*, and shove it up your bum My name is Phoenix Wright, I'm a semi-decent lawyer With the help of magic stones and my hot/dead employer So court is now in session, Judge Santa Claus presiding If a witness has a secret, I will find out what they're hiding Pressing and presenting, I will find a resolution, Fighting liars on the stand (and the kinky prosecution) My client isn't guilty, which I'll prove with my defense, So now all I have to do is choose the perfect evidence, Here we go! *OBJECTION* (Nope) *OBJECTION* (Nope) *OBJECTION* (Nope) Guilty! *OBJECTION* (Nope) *OBJECTION* (Nope) *TAKE THAT!* Not guilty ... obviously.